This week’s “Monday, Monday” column, “My big fat greek game,” was an epiphany in my Duke career, because for the first time I figured out what’s wrong with Duke’s social scene: students like the “Monday, Monday” columnist behind the pseudonym “Charlotte Simmons.” It seems that this person has bashed a life they know nothing about, while increasing social fragmentation. Today I was charged with being overweight, having a drinking problem and being a bad basketball fan. To start, most people at Duke (myself especially) could use a cheeseburger. Second, isn’t it ironic that on LDOC, the one day people like “Simmons” drink, there tend to be a large number of hospital visits? And finally, you want to talk about being a basketball fan? Let’s go, sweetheart.
“Simmons” claims that the best fans are those who choose to sleep in the mud for a month, and then complain about it all day on the C-1. These fans have illuminated a weakness in our basketball program: the fact that Cameron Indoor Stadium is predictable and unintimidating. The reputation of Cameron that Dick Vitale drools over and helped Duke to three titles did not stem from half the first row reading witless jokes and the other half looking over physics flashcards. It gets worse. When Duke is down eight points with three minutes to go, Cameron is embarrassingly quiet. The fair-weathered Crazies only cheer properly when the team is winning, which is why last year our coach got frustrated to the point of throwing his jacket and supplicating for some fan intensity. How often has ESPN flashed to a student covering his or her eyes in the final minutes of a game? Embarrassing.
The new plan was developed to enhance social unification in Cameron, fill the bleachers and create a new dimension of intensity. But “Simmons” thinks she is smarter than the coaching staff, and the column twisted the motivations of fraternity men.
Mark Schissler
Trinity ’11
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