‘Vote for Goat’: Beloved basketball star sweeps DSG presidential election through last-minute write-in campaign

Another stellar showing for the short man at the buzzer.

In a stunning last-second cameo, beloved campus icon and 5-foot-8 men’s basketball walk-on Da Goat won the DSG presidency Monday afternoon in a unanimous vote. The campus icon, known by many as a “benchwarmer” — for his tendency to sit on the Bryan Center benches during warm weather — submitted his campaign proposal with just a minute and 15 seconds to spare before voting began.

He said he was encouraged to run by a rowdy crowd chanting his name at the Prudential Center in Newark, N.J., during the final minutes of Duke men’s basketball’s Elite Eight win against Alabama.

“What can I say? They were calling for DA GOAT,” the incoming president said. “I didn’t end up getting on the floor in that game, so I figured I could make an impact in student government instead. And here we are.”

Goat’s platform, which he said was crafted through a mix of personal gripes and student complaints he saw on Fuzz, consisted of a number of out-of-the-box measures for change on and off Duke’s campus.

Among them: 

• Lowering the height limit of the rides at the N.C. State Fair, because “it isn’t fair that an athletic superstar can’t ride the kiddie coasters.”
• Shifting the grading scale to be on a strictly 2- and 3-point basis because “if basketball thinks that’s best, it probably is.”
• Setting up a basketball hoop at the base of the Chapel for people to do trick shots from the top, Dude-Perfect style.
• Piloting an annual basketball game between Duke and St. John’s called “Guardin’ at the Garden” hosted at the Sara Pee Dook Gardens, not MSG.

Students said the proposal that won them over, however, was Goat’s idea to make Cameron Indoor Stadium’s concessions available on food points.