Duke replaces C1s with fleet of Cybercars in line with Climate Commitment

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In the latest attempt to eliminate some of Duke’s 200,000-plus annual metric tons of carbon emissions, the University announced plans to get rid of all its buses and replace the gas guzzlers with a sleek new fleet of Cybercars.

Commonly known for their impressively repulsive aesthetics, Cybercars are electric vehicles, meaning they don’t rely directly on greenhouse-gas-releasing petroleum products to operate. Instead, they plug into charging stations connected to the electric grid, which in North Carolina is largely powered by greenhouse-gas-releasing petroleum products.

The move was reportedly inspired by an administrative desire to meet student demands for meaningful action to combat the climate crisis, according to Parking and Transportation Director Phuck Yu.

“Students have said they want transparency and action in line with our sustainability mission, and stakeholders have said they want to continue institutional support of billion-dollar industries to preserve Duke’s financial health,” Yu said. “We feel this is a great way to do both.”

Duke is set to roll out the change during finals week, beginning with C1s before eventually moving onto the LNCs, LLs, PR1s, GTHCs, HUMPs, GTFOs and finally SWSs.

Yu acknowledged that students may see a slight increase in wait times of two to three hours, given that each bus — which could hold roughly 60 passengers — will be replaced by one Cybercar, which seats four. In total, the fleet will consist of 10 cars operating across all eight routes.

First-year Lepht B. Hind seemed largely unfazed by the decision.

“Uh yeah, I don’t use the bus anymore,” Hind said. “A 15-minute wait for an Oober is better than 40 minutes at the bus stop.”

The Cybercars will be off duty between the hours of 8:02 a.m. and 10:13 a.m., 11:47 a.m. and 2:26 p.m., and 4:34 p.m. and 8:01 a.m. They will be housed in the Bryan Center garage, where they have spots reserved 24 hours a day.

When asked about a possible conflict of interest in the purchase, given that Duke recently hired Cybercar maker Melon Husk to teach a number of the new Constellation courses, Yu looked nervously at the door before pulling a bag of magic beans out of his pocket, throwing them on the floor and disappearing in a cloud of smoke.

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