Duke, I know you know what I’m talking about. You know why I’m here. As soon as you made that terrible decision on that terrible day — yes, the day you decided to make Blue Zone an Iron Dukes parking lot for home football games — you knew it was wrong. But you did it anyway. Because providing more Iron Dukes parking spots means you can sell more Iron Dukes parking permits, which means you make more money. I get it: You’re a money-making machine, and as such, you’re here to generate as much of it as you can. But there’s a line, and when you chose to prioritize Duke sports fanatics over students who pay $474 for an annual Blue Zone permit — on top of almost $89,000 a year in attendance costs — you most certainly crossed it.
Disclaimer: Iron Dukes, I’m not out to get you. In fact, I feel for you. That you have the option to buy a special game-day permit for $90+ only after donating $250+ per year and purchasing season tickets ($69.25+ per year) is absurd. We’re all getting scammed out here.
Now, Duke, don’t get me wrong: I’m not here to bash you, either. Nor am I here to tell you to stop making money. Rather, I’m here to help you help us — your precious students — by suggesting ways in which you can save us from having to move our cars during home football games, all while preserving that cash flow you love so dearly (and keeping Iron Dukes happy).
The first — and most obvious — way to fix the issue is to simply not make Blue Zone available for Iron Dukes on game day. Duh, right? But hear me out: Move the Iron Dukes parking in Blue Zone to the Graduate Center (GC) Lot — a parking lot many of us relocate to when kicked out of Blue Zone. This is a perfect substitution for several reasons.
Blue Zone (1,350) has fewer spots than GC Lot (1,629), so there’s no need to worry about being able to provide enough space. GC Lot is already used for public parking on game days, so it can easily be converted into an Iron Dukes-only lot. Parking in GC Lot is provided for free, so there’s no parking money lost from non-Iron Dukes fans who can no longer park in GC.
Further, a shuttle provides free transportation from GC Lot and H Lot to Duke Chapel. The walk from Duke Chapel to Wallace Wade Stadium is just 0.1 miles longer than the walk from Blue Zone to Wallace Wade. The journey will take a tad bit longer, but I’d argue most fans would want to explore campus a bit or grab a bite at WU — aside from those delicious Bavarian pretzels, who would actually want to eat overpriced stadium food if they could help it? — on their way to the game anyway.
I know what you’re thinking: "What about H Lot? Won’t Iron Dukes get pissed when they see free parking — and free shuttles — being offered right next to them?" Easy: Make H Lot reserved for Iron Dukes too. If you reserve both GC Lot and H Lot for Iron Dukes, that’s 2,565 spots — much more than the roughly 2,000 spots currently offered across all the Iron Dukes lots. What are you going to do with that extra space? Make more money! After giving the Iron Dukes priority, fill the remaining spots with non-Iron Dukes fans, charging a slightly higher rate per game — say, $25 — compared to that of the per-game cost of an Iron Dukes season permit (the price of the season permit divided by the number of home games comes out to $15-$20).
Ok, now where do all the remaining fans displaced by the Iron Dukes go? The other public parking lots offered! There is, in fact, enough space to park all cars for an average game, even without the use of Blue Zone. Let’s get the facts straight. The mean attendance at Wallace Wade was 24,505 in 2022. The student section comprises four of 32 sections; if the distribution of fans is uniform across all sections, about 12.5% of the fans in attendance are expected to be students. (I’m ignoring Blue Devil Tower since it offers fewer than 1,000 seats.)
Assuming 87.5% of fans travel by car — and given that roughly three people travel to sporting events together — roughly 7,150 parking spaces are required when the stadium has average attendance. There are currently 6,319 public parking spots (including GC Lot and H Lot), and there are just under 1,000 Iron Dukes parking spots, excluding Blue Zone — so we have all the spots we need!
Yes, there will be games whose attendance exceeds the average. However, if Wallace Wade were to reach its capacity of 35,000 (not that it ever does), Duke wouldn’t have enough parking spots for everyone even with Blue Zone included: With the same assumptions above, we’d need over 10,000 spots to fit everyone… but Blue Zone only brings the total number of game-day spots available to about 8,500. Ouch — not even close!
But what do we do with the parking lots previously reserved for Iron Dukes? Reserve them for ADA parking instead. Currently, two sub-lots in Blue Zone are used for ADA public parking. To avoid having to use Blue Zone at all during game days, instead offer such parking in Whitford. (Though it’s already used for disability parking, it’s only available to those with Iron Dukes permits.) Not only is Whitford just as close to Wallace Wade as Blue Zone, but with space for 140 cars, it also has enough spots to maintain ADA compliance: Given the total number of game-day parking spots Duke offers, only about 100 spots are required to be reserved for people with disabilities (even when including Blue Zone).
Still concerned about there not being enough ADA spaces? You can also offer ADA parking in Science Dr Garage. Not only are the second and third levels of this garage already reserved on game days, but they would provide more ADA spots than those offered in Blue Zone. The garage is (slightly) farther from the stadium; however, Duke eases this inconvenience by providing assistive shuttles and wheelchair assistance to fans with disabilities. (Good on you, Duke — you’re finally doing something right.) Card Lot is another good — and closer — option for ADA parking. Excess spaces could be made available to those with Iron Dukes permits, after giving priority to those with disability permits.
Ok, I concede: Other universities — Clemson, Kentucky, Arkansas — require their students to move their cars on game days. However, these schools all have something in common that Duke does not: They are football schools. (Or at least compared to Duke they are.) With stadium sizes of 81,500, 61,000 and 76,000, respectively, they have to provide parking for two to three times as many fans as Duke. Stop fooling yourself, Duke. Just because we have a winning record doesn’t mean we’re one of them.
If those logistics are too hot to handle, I’ve got another suggestion: Reduce the weeks a given student has to move. For example, you could halve the number of games we each have to move for by forming two groups and alternating between groups each game, such that only students in one group have to move their cars. The bottleneck becomes how full Blue Zone is on a given game day (a stat I cannot provide), but I’d venture to guess that there’s room to keep some students’ cars. If two groups is too much, try three instead — that still saves each of us from having to move for two out of six games.
Whew. So many stats. I hope you’re still with me, Duke. If you’re still unconvinced, still unwilling, after all that, I — I got nothing. I laid all my cards. You can keep on stealing our (parents’) hard-earned money and taking advantage of us. We’re powerless to stop you. But I beg you to please reconsider. I know it’s only six days out of the year and only takes an hour total each time. That’s not the problem. Rather, it’s the principle of it: We bought a Blue Zone parking permit valid every day from 2024 Aug. 16 to 2025 Aug. 15, and that’s what we should get.
You’ve given me so much, Duke — opportunities, friendships, even game days — and I’m so grateful for that. But every healthy relationship requires communication, and if I’m being honest, you’re failing to treat us right. I know you don’t care — we’re not made of money, after all — and that’s ok. But I need you to know something: A university cannot possibly be dedicated to the “principles of honesty, fairness, respect, and accountability” if it tosses around its students for a quick cash grab.
Sound familiar? Yeah. That’s the Duke Community Standard. DDMF.
Paul Dilly is a Trinity junior.
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