As students return to campus, West Union is flooded with conversation about students’ respective spring breaks. Indeed, recounting the infamous break is inescapable. Around every corner, students are talking about their “ahhmazing break vacays” and “restful ski trips.” Alas, although swapping stories of oceanside hookups may be tantalizing, nothing captures the Spring Break 2k18 experience quite like a picture does. Luckily, Duke students have ample photographs to show their classmates on their social media. Now, worked into every conversation about spring break, is the phrase, “And I loved your Instas!”—as if liking the photo and commenting “*fire emoji* AYY HOTTIE” wasn’t enough positive feedback.
In light of students’ active social media presence, the @dukestudents account on Instagram decided this week to combine Duke’s favorite parts of March: spring break and the NCAA tournament. On Monday, @dukestudents announced their own version of March Madness: Insta Insanity. This 24-team bracket pits typical spring break photos against each other, allowing students to vote for photos based on how many “likes” each iteration of Insta post receives.
“The process to create the bracket was very scientific,” says the creator of the competition Sarah Jones, Insta handle @scarjojo. “We looked at sample of about 1000 students’ Instagrams and listed the most frequently occuring photographs. We then assigned seeds based on the likes and net follow gain of the pictures. Just like the NCAA, we want to account for upsets and frontrunners.”
Blank brackets were distributed around the BC Plaza, and students were encouraged to discuss their picks. Tables were set up so students could easily fill out and submit their brackets. Whoever has the most accurate bracket would win entrance into themed Marketplace dinners without having to wait in line. Furthermore, inspired by Warren Buffett’s offer, any perfect bracket would be given free tuition. While most passersby were happy to fill out the bracket, some were hesitant, explaining that they didn’t have an Instagram. These students were likely the same ones who didn’t put Duke in their final four, those traitors.
The Chronicle asked students what their predictions were for the brackets, including any potential upsets.
“Man, I think candid laughing is gonna upset brightly colored food. I know, I know controversial. But the way candids have been performing all season is insane,” says one junior. “Look, all I’m saying is if UMBC can upset Virginia, anything is possible.”
“My vote is that I’m in a one-piece; I’m classy will take it all. I mean, it’s subtle, it’s sexy, it’s side boob,” another student explained with a shrug of her shoulders. “It’s a picture both my youth minister and my Shooters hook-up can like.”
Some students expressed concern about the generalizations made in the bracket. “It’s not just spring break that’s for the boys,” corrected one newly-initiated sophomore, who was wearing khaki shorts despite it still being 40 degrees. “It’s every Saturday, duh.” All the girls in the vicinity immediately vacated.
The Insta Insanity competition will be going on for the next two weeks, so students can track both their NCAA brackets and their Insta brackets. @dukestudents is planning on using the competition to conduct a sociological experiment as well. “We want to track the diminishing return of spring break posts as time increases,” explained stats professor and social media advisor Mai Space. “We expect to see photos as the weather gets warmer.”
Space explained that photos with captions such as “Wish I was here instead of studying!” and “TBT to when I was tan” peak around 4 weeks after break. After that, @dukestudents expects that Insta feeds will be inundated with beach week and DukeEngage photos. Until then, however, students are encouraged to fill out their own brackets and turn them into their least favorite sorority’s section.
Friday Friday is a disgruntled satirical columnist, because they only went to PCB for spring break instead of Cabo. #middleclassprobs. You can be as sure that the column is published every other Friday as you can be that Virginia chokes in the tournament. For the record, Friday Friday also picks “Emoji covering a Solo cup” for the W.
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Friday Friday is Monday Monday’s off-brand satirical cousin. Look out for Friday Friday on Tinder, and Friday Friday would like it to be known that they are available for frat rush date functions.