This week, Duke University announced it will be accepting Snapchat stories, Instagram feeds and Facebook timelines in substitute for the Common App form that undergrad applicants usually submit. When pressed for comment, University administrators said that social media accounts are now a more accurate portrayal of applicant success than official test scores or essays about their selfless National Honor Society service.
“We’re very excited about this announcement because it really shows how Duke is staying on the forefront of 21st century education,” one administrator said. “Accepting social media is just the first of many steps our University is taking to modernize our school’s environment for the digital age.”
The Office of Admissions officially will make the transition with the next wave of applications beginning in summer 2018. Rather than submit the Common App—which typically includes recommendation letters, transcripts, a resume and a series of essays—students will submit a link to their best social media feeds. Options for applicants could include their Instagram account or an archive of their prime 24-hour Snapchat story. Admissions emphasized that they will not be accepting LinkedIn profiles.
One admissions officer said this change would “absolutely not” decrease the information available about each applicant. “Social media is a pretty spot-on portrait of an individual, so everything transfers pretty directly. Instead of reading a bunch of recommendation letters, for example, we can see how many followers you have on Twitter or how many likes you get on your average Insta post.”
The admissions officer continued to say that a sampling of blindly shared “Democracy Now” videos would sufficiently indicate an applicant’s intelligence. Obnoxiously captioned Snapchats of half marathons, debate competitions or “language immersion programs” would sufficiently replace a general resume. And of course, genuine comments on Instagram photos such as “queen,” “so f***ing hot,” etc. would sufficiently guide character judgments normally derived from a personal essay.
In lieu of the weight usually given to a legacy applicant, officers will also now favor students with sponsored content from Duke-tier brands like SoulCycle or La Croix.
“It’s really a simple equation,” said another admissions employee. “If students aren’t incessantly posting about every little perceived accomplishment, and if they aren’t coming up with ways to ‘humble brag’ all over their online platforms, then we as a committee have to ask ourselves—are they really doing anything meaningful in the first place?”
If applicants’ content isn’t worth reposting on @DukeStudents, she added, then they wouldn’t really contribute much to Duke’s image anyway.
But the change isn’t just about garnering an accurate portrait of each applicant—it’s also about testing each applicant’s fundamental compatibility with Duke campus culture.
“Students who are comfortable posting a photo of their world travel with a witty caption in high school are ultimately the ones who will truly succeed here,” said the post-doctoral fellow whose research triggered this policy change. “Candid darty photos, aggressively vegan captions, occasional intellectual library shots or basic Chapel pics…it’s all critical.” After all, would upperclassmen really evaluate the social standing of p-frosh via Instagram if it wasn’t accurate?
Shockingly, all of the students who Monday Monday interviewed supported this change. “I mean, we’re all on social media anyway,” said one sophomore tour guide. “It only makes sense that we use these platforms to vet incoming students, right? I mean—it’s how we all vet one another anyway.”
“Yeah, I think it’s great for incoming students—anything to make the college process easier,” said a freshman admissions ambassador. “Besides, it’s about damn time people with good social media profiles got something out of it.”
Even those furthest away from the process still had a positive reaction. “S***,” commented a senior. “That’s such a good idea. If I could’ve used my Instagram to apply to schools instead of the Common App, that would have made everything way easier.” Probably could have gotten into Harvard too, she added.
Duke’s Office for Institutional Equity added that it will be instituting an affirmative action program for applicants whose social media profiles are “below par,” supplemented with a course on grandstanding during O-week.
Monday Monday hopes that students will share this on their finstas, Snap stories and Facebook feeds as a break from the usual tide of painfully honest and introspective content we know and love.
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