They're not really like that, just get to know them

A recent investigation into social life at Duke revealed that yes, someone might seem like x, but you just have to get to know them to understand how they’re different from this preconceived notion.

Duke students interact with dozens of peers each day, whether within their solidified friend groups, their same-as-freshman-year clubs, or that Greek crew they always darty with. But a recent investigation by the Department of Sociology unequivocally concluded that the person your friends dislike might seem rude or arrogant or facetious, but that attitude changes once you really get to know them.

“She’s totally genuine,” said one sophomore respondent of a girl he was sleeping with. “I know she seems really condescending to everyone she meets, but once you get to know her, you realize your mistake right away.” Another student interviewed reported something similar. “My friends always stand there silently when I talk to [this guy], and I know they don’t like him. I keep telling them, though–if only they got to know him, they’d know–all those jokes about ‘feminazis’–he doesn’t really believe that.” The student shook her head in frustration as she fiddled with her “The Future is Female” button.

Among the hundreds of students surveyed, 100% said they knew someone who had an undeserved bad reputation. One senior put it perfectly. “Look–everyone is a jerk at one point or another. But the truth is, sometimes you have to put on a total façade. That’s just how the world works!” This student reported that he, like “everyone else” he knew, had two personalities that he switched between depending on the group he was with. Fully cognizant that he comes across as a “huge partier,” for instance, he likes to put on his “intellectual cap” from time to time and spew some “good ol’ philosophical bullshit.” 

“You know–show the smart girls I value learning, my education, all that stuff,” he explained.

Some respondents went above and beyond, including anecdotes that captured the nuance of the situation. “I know people say she only hangs out with her other sisters, but she’s literally the most open-minded and understanding person–I literally can’t even tell you how many times she talks about how she wants to meet more people and get outside the Durham bubble,” said the junior, whose friend is just another “victim of false assumptions” based on her verbalized opinions and clear patterns of behavior.

“This crap about her being cliquey or whatever is so dumb,” she elaborated, who met [omitted] during rush freshman year and has stayed by her side ever since—from breakfast, lunch, and dinner to study sessions, power yoga, and super-exclusive parties. If only people would come to section more, she commented, they would really know this cliquey-ness is just a myth.

Another spoke of his roommate’s apparent Pratt-over-Trinity arrogance. “I know that’s the front he puts on, but [he]’s really a down-to-earth and super compassionate guy.” His roommate might call Philosophy majors unemployable and unskilled idealists, for example, but he’s “fully aware” that “those majors are obviously super hard too, probably.” When asked about his major, the student answered, “Yeah, so I’m ECE/BME with a focus in healthcare systems, but I’m probably gonna grab an easy CS minor while I’m at it.”