'A' for Ambition

To Bright Lights Who Are Burning Out:

If you’re ambitious, as so many Duke students are, you’re often also touted as talented, determined and relentless in the pursuit of your lofty goals. Those around you might note your incorrigible diligence and unwavering focus, but that’s only when the going is good. Eventually, usually during freshman or sophomore year, the solid foundation of achievements and success begins to crack. A test (or maybe an entire class) doesn’t go your way, there doesn’t seem to be as direct a correlation between your efforts and your results as there used to be, and your increasingly constant state of stress slowly morphs into a panic-inducing quarter-life crisis.

Your first thought—that you’re spread too thin—might compel you to make some sacrifices and cut down on the multiple demands on your time in favor of continuing to dominate in at least one area of your life. You convince yourself that you’re prioritizing, but you’re probably spending less time on your passions and more time on what comes most naturally to you. Your castle of dreams, your fairytale-superhero-fantasy-thriller-action/adventure movie of a life plan is on the verge of crashing down. It’s terrifying because you’ve been waiting and working for that “ever-ever after” moment that’s vanishing before your eyes. Now, like in the face of any crisis, you’ve got two options—fight or flight.

In the short-term, flight is easiest. If you get out now, you don’t have to watch years of work and belief in yourself come tumbling down. You trim down your commitments, shorten your list of friends, quit some activities, and let exciting opportunities pass you by. In other words, you lower your expectations for yourself and your college experience. While the old, confident you wouldn’t dream of giving up that fascinating certificate you always wanted; the new, cautious you persuade yourself that you didn’t really want it in the first place.

In the long-run, however, running away from your high standards and lofty goals is the hardest road in world. When faced with impending failure, it seems safer to be a normal person satisfied with an average life, so you start telling yourself how “lucky” you are in an effort to convince yourself that you’re content with the status quo. You surround yourself with people who keep you grounded in reality because you narrowly escaped an Icarian situation and are committed to avoiding another one. Sure, it’s hard to change your trajectory and swerve golden opportunities, but you’re quite certain the urge to fly towards the bright lights and entrancing feeling of warmth will eventually dissipate.

Here’s the thing. It won’t. Rational stability works just fine if your brain isn’t constantly crackling with new ideas, sizzling with the heat of possibilities; and if you’re not perpetually burning to be the best, I mean, your best. The minute you realize that the Chevy you've persuaded yourself you wanted can’t give you the same euphoric high as the Lambo you've forced yourself to stop dreaming about, it’ll hit you that you that mistakes were made. It’ll dawn on you that you settled because you were afraid. You were scared of wanting something you didn’t think you deserved or could achieve, of admitting you wanted something so wildly out of your league, and of losing something you really cared about despite giving it everything you had.

You played it safe, so you wouldn’t get hurt, and all things considered, you’re fine, but you aren’t happy. You don’t smile as much as you used to because you aren’t winning anymore, you just aren’t losing. Quite frankly, you aren’t playing at all, you’re just spectating, and all of your talent is wasting away. The bottom line is, you have to play to win, but just because you have to gamble doesn’t mean you have to be reckless. Recognize this is a risky game and plan accordingly.

There you have option two: fight. Fight for what you really want. While you might think that chasing dreams is an activity only for the wealthiest among us, don’t devalue your accomplishments. Chances are if you overcame a disadvantage, you took on the odds and won. You’ve got a fighting spirit, which when combined with your unabated ambition makes you almost unstoppable. Almost. As cheesy as it sounds, your self-doubt is the only thing between you and everything. You’ve made it work with next to nothing, and you can do it again.