To conform or not to conform

The Super Bowl happened last week, and as usual, it generated a discussion about the quality of the aired commercials. Which ones were hits, and which ones were flops? While there were some strong ads this year, none of them are likely to achieve the iconic status of Apple’s “1984” commercial. In it, hundreds of soulless, look-alike individuals stare blankly as a giant Big Brother-like talking head spews propaganda from a telescreen. In the midst of this dark and dreary landscape, a woman in a white tank top and red gym shorts sprints into view and hurls a hammer at the screen, destroying it. Anya Major’s character represented the Macintosh, which Apple insinuated was the spark needed to free the computing industry from sameness and monotony. In the ad, the only splotch of color is a beacon of light in a dark world—one that appears to be a stark contrast to the one in which we live today.

Well, appearances can often be deceiving. While society as a whole remains far from the one pictured in the advertisement or the novel “Nineteen Eighty-Four,” it is not all that different when it comes to conformity. The fact is, as much as people may assert their status as independent free-thinkers, most of them remain bound to the invisible rules that pervade their daily lives. Consider all of the things that people do without a second’s thought because they are “supposed” to do them. They will apply for high-profile internships or graduate school because that’s what college students these days do. They will rush SLGs because all of their friends are in them and they feel left out; the whole time, they will smile and pretend to be enjoying the process. In a few years, they will go on dating sites, get married, and have 2.5 kids because, after all, everyone gets married and has 2.5 kids. And so on and so forth.

All of this runs contrary to the statements we so often hear: people are special and unique. They need to stop trying to be someone they are not and start being themselves. Sure, these are clichés, but we as a society generally accept them to be true. So why do we refuse to listen to our own advice? Well, simply put, being yourself is not easy sometimes. Since so many people choose to conform, not doing so often means that you could easily be looked down on by a society that knows deep down that people are different but insists on judging them anyway. For many individuals, the thought of this is too much to bear, so they choose to remain passive, quietly following customs and rules they often patently abhor. In their eyes, this is a better life than the alternative.

But what exactly is the alternative? Are those who live in constant fear of rocking the boat and making a scene really so much better off? Sure, they may receive fewer disapproving glances every now and then. However, over time, stress caused by the constant need to keep up with others will begin to build. One has to put on nice clothes, wear makeup, fuss over one’s hair even if one doesn’t want to—all for the sake of looking like everyone else. One has to always say exactly the right thing and never talk about one’s problems—because, after all, no one else talks about their problems. The list continues on indefinitely. In short, the conformist’s life ends up being a revolving door of fake, one that will lead to zero satisfaction and a whole lot of anguish.

Those who still insist on remaining conformists should keep one more thing in mind. Most people seem to want to be remembered in some way, shape, or form; this is evident their mugging of the Jumbotron during sporting events or their donation of money to institutions so that a building can be named after them. Perhaps people do these things because they want to believe that their lives had some sort of meaning, that they weren’t simply a waste of time. But if this is the case, then conformity is not an option. Because nobody remembers the people who spent their lives blending into the crowd, trying not to appear different. Those who dare to assert their individuality, on the other hand, stand a chance of going down in history. Imagine if all of the great leaders and thinkers of the past had been conformists. What if Gandhi had decided that he didn’t want to be castigated for speaking out against the British? What if Einstein or Darwin had decided that they didn’t want to be mocked for having unorthodox ideas? They would have been forgotten, just like most people who ever set foot on Earth are. To sum up, in order to maximize one’s chances of leaving behind a legacy, one must stay true to oneself. It may take a long time, but in the end, it will be worth it.

Of course, being yourself doesn’t mean that you will always go against the grain; if it means occasionally or even frequently doing what everyone else is doing, then so be it. For example, if you enjoy the taste of alcohol and like going to parties, then by all means, drink (responsibly), go out, and have fun. But if, on the other hand, you would much rather imbibe some water or do something else with your Saturday nights, don’t feel the need to go out and make a fool of yourself.

Instead, understand that conformity only exists because people feel the need to be like other people. It may often feel as if the urge to fit in is necessary for survival, but that simply isn’t true—in fact, getting rid of it may be the key to a happy and successful life. In the end, it is time to finally start appreciating people for who they really are and not who they pretend to be. The message is clear: be yourself—and don’t be afraid to occasionally rock the boat.

Ben Zhang is a Trinity senior. His column, "human foibles" runs on alternate Mondays.