Deep thoughts with Drew

I have deep thoughts sometimes. We live in a world of wonder, and there are so many things out there that provoke the senses and stimulate the mind. As an experiment, I wrote down every deep thought I had this week. Join me as I explore and analyze our world.

• I saw a squirrel without fur on its tail this week. Now I know that tail fur is the only thing that makes a squirrel cute, because otherwise it just looks like a rat. Maybe I just saw a rat?
• ABP sells pre-packaged, single hardboiled eggs. I would rather interview the people who buy enough of these eggs to keep them in stock than most eminent dignitaries. They must have fascinating minds.
• Who was clamoring for a three-quel to "The Da Vinci Code"? Let’s get cracking on a National Treasure three-quel instead, please.
• People complain about the black mold on Central, but nobody says a thing about all of the mold in blue cheese. It feels like a double standard.
• I saw a lot of "Stranger Things" costumes this year for Halloween, which delighted me to no end because it’s an awesome show. I was less delighted that no one thought to dress up as the Demigorgon. There’s a reason people say millenials don’t challenge themselves enough.
• You know what’s really spooky? People who eat fruit-on-the-bottom yogurt without mixing it together first.
• If I had a nickel for every bottle of kombucha I’ve accidentally broken this semester, I’d have three nickels.
• I saw a meme this week that explained the 2008 financial crisis in twenty words more effectively than the entirety of "The Big Short."
• I’ve heard at least four different pronunciations of “LaCroix” in the past week. My reality has never been less stable.
• People whose favorite fruit is honeydew melon are the worst kind of people.
• Lady Gaga’s new album "Joanne" is country music for the Studio 54 set, and I am here for it. “A-Yo” and “Dancin’ In Circles” are two of the best pop songs of the year. Pre-order "Joanne" on iTunes.
• Do cats flock to me because they know I’m allergic to them? If so, that’s very sadistic of them.
• Cats will never love you like dogs, rabbits, gerbils, hermit crabs, classroom caterpillars or literally any other animal will love you.
• If you have heard one Bruce Springsteen song, you have heard all Bruce Springsteen songs.
• It’s impossible to dress for this time of year—too cold in the morning, too hot during the day. I saw someone wearing corduroy pants, a Dallas Mavericks jersey, and a scarf the other day.
• Here’s a hot tip for how to dress for weird weather. Go out of your house wearing a ton of blankets. Slowly throughout the day, shed them one by one until you reveal your normal shorts and T-shirt for the rest of the day. Pick them up later when it gets cold.
• I stand corrected: people who walk on the treadmill are the worst kind of people.
• My mind is an enigma.

Drew Haskins is a Trinity Senior and Playground Editor