Overreacting undergraduates

Just a few days ago a small group of students courageously marched towards the Delta Sigma Phi bench, temporarily annexed the most coveted three square feet of campus and bravely called for the abolition of prisons and Greek life. Our heroes then braced themselves for the difficult but necessary task of educating the clueless, ignorant onlookers who had gathered to watch the unfolding demonstration. A lone warrior, small in comparison to the societal constructs they fought but possessing a large heart, proudly declared the crowd "some f*** s***."

"Pledge Task: Develop Some Empathy" read a sign valiantly thrust into the sky. Yes, not long ago Duke University's champions fought back against the predatory and monolithic Greek community here on campus, consisting of organizations such as the Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity, which maliciously raised $30,000 when two brothers were diagnosed with cancer and perpetuates violent power structures such as the lifelong bond members share for the rest of their lives. Uninterested in considering how one associated with a brotherhood (roughly 30 percent of Duke men) or a sisterhood (just less than 40 percent of Duke women) might interpret a private event or aggressive teach-in, our champions resisted the Siren's call and maintained their obstinate calls for abolition. Develop some empathy, indeed.

Our crusaders, however, assured themselves they would never stoop to the callous apathy displayed by the large group of onlookers who traveled from across Duke's campus to listen to the protesters and participate in the teach-in (save a few hecklers). Extending a metaphorical olive branch by granting the larger Duke community permission to speak, our heroes were promptly and expectedly snubbed. Referring to a previous comment made by the protestors that compared the "Kappa Kop"-themed DSig party with the Holocaust, a White Male Onlooker Wearing a Hat assaulted the foundational tenets of social justice when he dared say, "I just want to say that the Holocaust thing was kind of offensive." Fortunately, our protagonists promptly mocked his violent question that disputed whether DSig's costume party could be appropriately compared to one of the largest tragedies, both in scale and deranged brutality, in human history. Luckily they took the high road.

But it was not the end. Another Tall, White Male berated the impromptu bastion of freedom when he mentioned that he believes in fighting structural racism and combating institutional inequalities, but disagrees with the method of shouting "F*** the crowd" as our noble activists did. Luckily, the activists were well-trained in countering the shrewd tactics that The Privileged used to sidestep criticism while they carefully, respectfully and thoughtfully address the activist's concerns. "TONE-POLICING" shouted our heroes. Like a werewolf struck by a silver bullet, the Tall, White Male retreated.

After all, if you are upset with the tone that an argument is delivered in, you are probably missing the point.

With Greek Life addressed, Duke University's Best and Brightest focused their metaphorical highly-powered .50-caliber sniper rifle squarely on the peculiar American institution of locking up criminals who have broken the law. This inhuman establishment has parallels in virtually every human culture in the world stretching back for millennia. "No to police, No to prison" read the poster that boldly declared that the best way to end mass incarceration, reform the criminal justice system and fix systemic inequalities is to completely erase the backbone of a system predicated on the rule of law. Our warriors had a simple message for those who want to outlaw murder, rape, arson, theft and other wicked elements in society by removing their perpetrators from society as a preventative measure: cages are violent. Subjecting people to state sanctioned brutality such as the protection that law enforcement gives our communities every day is violent. In fact, believing that criminals should go to jail is violent.

Beset on all sides by hordes of puzzled students that were bored on a Friday afternoon, the zealous leaders of DukeEnrage paused. As the sun set and the shadows faded into the fast-approaching night, the heroes that Duke deserves, but not those it needs, dispersed. Dismantling two violent power structures in a single day is difficult work, even for university students who have partially completed their Bachelors' degrees. Only time will tell whether the incoming "List of Demands in Regards To The Violent Kappa Kop Party" will be available on Tumblr or Facebook first.

Or maybe people will realize that fraternities and sororities on campus are not responsible for mass incarceration and that calls to abolish Greek life and prison are overreactions.