While browsing Pinterest (procrastination, anyone?), I came across a quote that went something like this: anxiety is not being able to sleep because you’re worrying about something wrong you may have said two years ago.
I actually do that. A lot.
I struggle with my mental health, and it’s something I write about often (this is my third column on the subject, in case you didn’t notice).
Why?
Because putting down my thoughts on paper feels therapeutic. I like navigating through my mind by writing about it. A better place for this therapy is probably a private journal, and I bought one, but I haven’t done a very good job at writing in it regularly.
So, every few weeks or so, I end up writing here. But this space is shared with the public and I don’t have complete control over the editing, so it’s probably better to write my inner musings on the pages of a private journal. Well, for today, let's just keep going here.
My hope is that my ramblings about mental health can benefit the people who read my column in some way. I hope that, alongside the little bit clarity of mind that writing gives me, reading it lets people struggling with mental health know that they’re not alone.
This particular column is a bit like me checking in with myself, with my mental health, highlighting things that worked and things that didn’t. I don’t claim to speak for everyone; I am speaking just for myself, from my own experiences. Here are a couple of things that I have tried and that did help my mental health.
Adult coloring books are awesome. I’m not sure why they felt the need to put in “adult” in the name—probably because the general perception is that only children color, which is a shame because it is extremely fun and everyone should do it. I colored every time I felt anxious during winter break, and it helped me relax. I think the reason is partly that coloring makes you feel in control (as in, what color goes where) and partly that it is just a really fun activity. Since I’ve gotten back to Duke, I haven’t colored, but I should because my health should be a priority. Maybe tonight? Just fifteen minutes can do wonders.
The second thing is something I’ve already mentioned above: keeping a journal. It can be calming. I wish I would choose to write everyday in the time that I waste browsing on Instagram. It can be difficult if you’re trying to write about things that are bothering. It takes energy to actually confront the thoughts you’re uncomfortable with and so it can be a bit less relaxing in the short-term. However, it is a journal and you can use it in anyway you like—I’m still trying to get the hang of it myself.
What else am I doing? Let’s see. I’m currently browsing the CAPS website, looking through the workshops they offer (small advice to the administration: please improve/update the website. You will make it easier for students to take advantage of such opportunities) and hopefully I will sign up for one. It is free and on campus, so why not? I kept thinking about it last semester; hopefully I’ll act on it during this one.
It is exhausting to see your mental health struggles take on new shapes, morph into anxiety, then into depression and then into anxiety again. Facing inner battles that you’re not sure you know how to fight is tiring. Often, your anxiety can find a way to creep into the things you love to do. My anxious fear of “saying something wrong” has lately started to bother me when I try to write. So if this piece of writing is awful, blame my anxiety.
Doing little things for yourself, for your mental health, is good for everybody. Even if you’ve not been diagnosed with an illness, you can probably use some relaxation and clarity of thought. And should a situation arise where you are faced with an illness, these little things can be the tools that you may be able to use then. You have to make your mental health a priority because, if you don’t, it will wear you down, tire you out and eventually catch up with you. So start today and take care of yourself.
I’m saying this as much (if not more) to myself as to anybody else. I get so caught up in my work, in trying to be successful (which sometimes is more about impressing other people rather than about satisfying myself), that I end up neglecting my mental health.
So, here’s another gem from Pinterest: I’m not interested in competing with anyone; I hope we all make it.
Alena Sadiq is a Trinity sophomore. Her column runs on alternate Wednesdays.
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