Undecided?

I’ve come to a rather unsettling realization—I have no idea what I am doing.

Recently, for approximately the 26th time (give or take 5) since I’ve come to Duke, I have reconsidered my entire life—my major, what I want to do after college, where I want to live, and all those real life things that terrify us so much. Now, as a mere sophomore, it feels awfully early to be having these near-panic attacks at all but it’s just that time of year. The frustration and the late nights spent studying for midterms have made me question my choice of major and the recent career fairs have made me feel rather unqualified for any jobs or even internships for the future.

One of the most common lines heard at Duke is the classic “So, what’s your major?” It’s pervasive throughout O-week, it’s a go-to question during rush, and it will unfortunately continue to haunt us practically whenever we meet someone new. Hell, it even comes up during your breaks and holidays when your family bombards you with such panic-inducing questions. You manage to squeeze out a somewhat satisfactory answer and the even worse follow-up question of “What do you want to do with that?” inevitably pops up and stumps you.

I applied to Duke without a planned major. It seems to always shock people that I was bold enough to apply to a top tier university after essentially telling them, “Hey, I have no idea what I want to do but it’d be really nice if you accepted me.” Moreover, even after a year of switching around between neuroscience, public policy, global health, and anything else that even slightly perked my interest, I realize I am back at square one—undecided.

Many of you may be appalled at the mere sight of the word “undecided.” Duke students seem to be horrified of the unknown and not surprisingly so. We all got into Duke because we simply knew we wanted more. We knew we wanted a college education and we studied hard to know the right answers at school. We knew we wanted the vast opportunities available here and for many of us, we at least thought we knew what we wanted to study and become. Chances are that things have changed have for most of us, including myself. For others, maybe they haven’t yet, and for those select few, maybe they simply never will. Yet, as I join the majority of you and peer out onto the horizon to face a future shrouded in mystery, I cannot help but feel grateful to be able to do so from our beloved Gothic Wonderland.

Being at Duke is a privilege. I think so many of us lose sight of this due to the perpetual stress that accompanies our role as students. In addition, amidst the panic of not having our entire lives planned, we forget to look up and realize that we are at one of the most qualified environment to do just that—figure things out. We are provided with unparalleled opportunities to pursue whatever our passions may be and more importantly, whatever they may transform to become during our time here.

So maybe you want to pursue a MD-PhD, maybe you want to go to law school, or maybe you will end up switching from one to the other. Based on what I’ve seen in the past, many of you probably want to go into consulting and if not, the rest of you can join me in figuring out what the hell consulting even means. Whatever it is, I think it is absolutely amazing that some of us seem to know exactly what they want to do with their lives. For me, I’m still trying to figure that part out and I don’t think there is anything wrong with taking a bit more time to do so.

Therefore, for now, I’ll enjoy being at Duke for what it is—the people, the classes, and the nurturing atmosphere. For some, Duke may be a stepping stone towards whatever their goals may be. For others, it’s the perfect place to decide in which direction they want to even take their first step. Regardless, the next few years here will most definitely be an adventure so if you are also confused and nervous about your future, I urge you to join me. Let’s try new things, keep pursuing old things, and take advantage of everything Duke has to offer. It’ll be quite a journey but it’s certainly one not everyone has the opportunity to take.