DukeEthicist: operation intervention

What is your responsibility to intervene with a friend who has unhealthy habits, and at what point is intervention unhelpful or counter-productive?

Generic Script

If someone is your true friend, you do have the responsibility to look out for him, and he for you. However, you are both entitled to make your own decisions. The decision to intervene should be based on the severity of the unhealthy habit.  For example, if a close friend has recently taken up smoking despite knowing fully the negative health consequences, a single talk would be appropriate.  You could ask him why he started, if he plans to continue and how it makes him feel when he smokes. If after a single talk he insists on continuing, it’s probably best to respect his decision. As an adult, he is responsible for his own body and will have to face the consequences for his choices.

On the other hand, if he were underage and started smoking, a more serious intervention would be appropriate.  If he refused to stop, it may even be best to inform his parents of the situation.  Your friend would probably not thank you for it, but smoking is illegal if you’re under 18 for a founded reason—he could do himself serious, permanent harm.

Also beware of unhealthy habits that become progressively worse.  If your friend’s bad habit of skipping class on Friday occasionally because he was drinking Thursday night turns into him drinking on Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays—thereby skipping even more classes—a more serious intervention may be in order. If necessary, enlist CAPS, mutual friends or supportive adults for help. In the end, looking out for your friends just proves how much you care about them.