Sandbox

If you’re reading this, and you don’t have a ticket to Hopscotch Music Festival this weekend, it’s probably too late. Sure, there are probably a few passes still out there to see the Flaming Lips or Drive-By Truckers. But as all the art school Brooklynites in their little jackets know, going to a festival to see the headliners is about the least relevant thing you can do.

But for those of you with one of the coveted (and long sold-out) three day passes and hipster aspirations, here’s some primers for the weekend’s best (re: trendiest) shows. Ford & Lopatin at The Hive at the Busy Bee (Thursday, 12:30 a.m.): In case you haven’t visited Pitchfork in the last two years, I’ll update you: the ’80s are in right now. Which means, of course, that they’re also on their way out—all the more reason to go see this synthy, sparkly duo play music ideally suited to watching John Hughes movies on acid. Plus, going to this show means you’ll miss the Black Lips, who once beefed with Wavves and are probably assholes.

Toro y Moi at the Lincoln Theater (Saturday, 10:30 p.m.): The man that launched a million Hipster Runoff posts, Chaz Bundick does, for real, seem like a pretty chill bro. In reality, Toro y Moi hasn’t been cool since at least the summer of 2009, but that’s the point: it’s an opportunity to affirm yourself by condescending the latecomers still wondering what happens when gorilla and bear collide.

Yelawolf at the Lincoln Theater (Saturday, 12:30 a.m.): So you wanna get in on the next great blog-approved music bubble? Look no further. White-trash Southern speed rap about to be in, in a big way. Because, for the skinny-jeaned, tank-topped and mohawked, there is simply no more bizarre and inexplicable direction to go: irony, taken to its logical extreme.