Last week, the University suffered the loss of one of its own in senior Matthew Grape. It is a loss deeply felt, not just by his friends and family, but by the entire Duke community.
It is natural to mourn Matt’s death, but we should also celebrate his life—for it was a blessed life filled with joy, friendship and love.
Matt leaves his mark upon the lives of those he touched through his devotion, charm and sense of humor.
He quickly fell in love with many facets of Duke: the athletics, the academics and the camaraderie. A life-long sports enthusiast, Matt’s love for athletics found expression in his devotion to the Duke men’s lacrosse team, many members of which he counted among his closest friends. Athletics gave Matt scope to exercise his inexhaustible loyalty. His unwavering interest in the Boston Red Sox was matched only by his investment in the Duke men’s lacrosse team—he attended nearly every one of the team’s home games during his time at Duke.
He had a similar commitment to his fraternity, Alpha Delta Phi. It was here that Matt really found his niche in college. He was not merely a transient member of the group—he was an active and engaged member, devoting himself completely to the fraternity and its members. If one of his brothers was in a bad mood, needed help or just wanted a laugh, Matt was there. He had the ability to turn a bad day around with his unfailing compassion and wit.
Matt was unconditionally kind, even to those he did not know. Last week’s Career Fair provides a moving example. When Matt began speaking with a woman whom he believed to be an Accenture spokeswoman, he quickly realized that she was not recruiting for a consulting firm but for the Teach for China fellowship. Instead of walking away and hurting the woman’s feelings, Matt continued the conversation for 20 minutes and even signed up to receive further information, despite his lack of interest.
In Duke’s sometimes stressful climate, Matt never lost sense of his priorities. He was steadfastly committed to his friends and family. At Duke, he maintained a close-knit group of friends and never underestimated the importance of developing personal relationships.
Matt’s warm actions toward others were not one-sided. The abounding love felt for Matt found form last week when more than 100 students attended his memorial service at Duke, and when more than 50 former and current fraternity brothers attended his funeral in Wellesley, Mass. during the weekend.
Matt was appreciated then, and he is appreciated now.
Every account of Matt from his friends and family highlights, among all else, his loyalty. The lesson of this commitment—that the most important part of life is the development of personal relationships—is one of the legacies that Matt will leave at Duke.
Thank you, Matt, for embodying values that Duke students too often forget: friendship, spirit, unity. You will be missed, but you will always have a place in the hearts of those who knew you.
It is in times like these that we all need a friend like you—a kind, loyal, comforting presence to remind us that, if we stick together and support each other, our sorrows are always surmountable.
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