#dukegirlproblems

I’m a self-described complainer. Just your average, worst-case scenario person. After Toe-gate back in December, I would have told you Kyrie “Kerrie” Irving was down for the count, if not due to some cosmic retribution from Matt Howard, then due to excessive Dougie-ing. For the first two years of my collegiate career, my friends and family were on the receiving end of this venting, or as they have been coined, “Epic Margie Truwit Freakouts.”

But, to be fair, I had a lot to complain about. My internship search freshman year proved futile, which clearly meant I was destined for a lifetime of unemployment and mediocrity (as of press time, I have yet to find full-time employment, so take note, freshmen). “The Great Computer Crash” of sophomore year resulted in a freakout akin to Hansel’s “Where did all the files go?!” (Thankfully for me, I had Tailgate to drown my sorrows #RIP #betterlucknexttimehansel). But at the end of sophomore year, I discovered perhaps the greatest thing since commercial-free airings of “Titanic.”

And that, dear readers, is the Twitter. No longer would my friends have to endure my freakouts—at least, not in person. In an even greater moment of fortune, I discovered the hashtag (or to you Twitter-illiterate, the pound sign). Initially conceived as a sign for a “trending topic,” the hashtag is often a “trending problem.” Although #whitegirlproblems continues to define my life, I’ve found other hashtags to be equally important in my passive-aggressive rants to the Twitterverse. Here are a few of them, ripped directly from my over-utilized Twitter account.

1. #dukegirlproblems: I lost the mayorship of Shooters II. There are no study rooms left in Perkins. LoYo ran out of punch cards. Why in the world is the poli sci department located up three flights of stairs? We’re actually in Perkins on a Friday. I just ran into the Grinch in Vondy, literally. I’ve only been to Sushi Love once this week.

2. #chrongirlproblems: Do you srsly need a graphic? What do you mean we’re not sending anyone to the Maryland game? Is the Fresca button still broken? How are things in Azkaban? Can we run one more photo of Kerrie? Is spell-check installed on these computers? They are so awkward. Can we LOLChron?

3. #seniorspring: Must half the countries involved in my thesis be in the midst of srs political upheaval? Ritz, then Shooters? eRecruiting needs to stop advertising jobs I don’t want. I need to save this five-dollar bill for the weekend. We need to go to the ABC store again. Did we watch “You Don’t Mess With the Zohan” again last night?

The hashtag has united my stream of complaints into a less-than-coherent chronicle of my Duke experience, and yes, my #dukegirlproblems. I’ll be the first to admit that my #dukegirlproblems have consumed me at times, often resulting in rants on wearing heels in von der Heyden or sparkly Toms shoes. But maybe, just maybe, these problems aren’t problems at all #rebeccablackseatquandary.

Over the last few years, “The Epic Margie Truwit Freakout” has transitioned from a self-induced panic to a steady stream of laughter. Sure, it wasn’t exactly optimal to drive back and forth to Greensboro for the men’s and women’s basketball ACC Tournaments for a grand total of 12 schleps on I-85. I may have even tweeted about said hajj to Greensboro, followed by #dukegirlproblems. But I sure did get some laughs out of it, even making a list of the “Top Things to See on I-85 Between Durham and Greensboro” #buyjeff. I won’t lie and tell you spending Spring break in Perkins writing my thesis was all that fun either. But getting kicked out at 6:00 p.m. was sure worth some lulz. With the help of the hashtag, the Twitter and some fantastic friends, I’ve found that almost every ridiculous event in my life, even Chronrage gone wrong, is worth a fit of laughter. These last four years could have been as stressful and difficult as a mid-season, non-conference road game (#stjohns), had I panicked about every mediocre grade, every back-focused basketball photo and every Cook Out cashier who tried to steal my change. But being able to laugh at these things has made my Duke experience all the more memorable. And hey, don’t you burn calories laughing anyway? #dukegirlproblems. So will I ever stop kvetching? Probably not. But it will always be followed by some srs lulz. And don’t forget the hashtag.