Oh, drop/add. The perfect solution to the first class assignment, which you were planning to do, until you realized you didn’t actually have any time to do it. Today, unfortunately, is the last day you’ll have to escape that nasty first Blackboard quiz and to replace it with Freetime 450C.
How many times have I rearranged my schedule in ACES’s graphic viewer so that my class blocks make suggestive shapes? Apparently, not nearly enough. So, with a tear, I would like to say so long to sleepless nights on ACES. I’ll never forget the way you validated me. And CourseRank, I know we only met a few weeks ago, but it feels like I’ve known you my entire life.
After dropping their 100-page theses, some have finally attained the perfect second semester senior schedule which I’m convinced must contain “Fairy Tales: Grimms to Disney,” “Massage Therapy” and/or “Bowling,” “Introduction to Acting” and at least one independent study. For others who are still wondering why they are taking chemistry in the French Family Science Center, I commiserate.
After developing an intimate relationship with Course Synopsis Handbook, I have found a few interesting course descriptions that I would like to share. Because tonight at midnight will be the last chance to make any changes to your schedule, I’d like to introduce some mostly real classes that you might want to reconsider last minute.
GREEK 107S: “Greek Drama”—This class will be reading excerpts from www.JuicyCampus.com. All students will be required to attend at least one date function. Major assignments include analysis of RGAC scoring guidelines, a term paper on the lacrosse scandal, a research paper on who’s got the best legs in the “core four” and an oral presentation. This class fulfills an ethical inquiry and will be held at the emergency ward of Duke Hospital North on Friday nights.
ROMST 150S: “Topics Romance Studies”—A survey course, this class will teach students how to woo the man or woman of your dreams at Duke even if you’re one of the four people on campus who doesn’t have a consulting internship locked down for the summer. This course will demonstrate everything from proper WaDuke attire and etiquette to how to dance with any freshman at Shooters II. This class will be TAed by students who have completed several unofficial graduation requirements. In all seriousness, though, I wish I had known that ROMST 150S, a real class on Latino hip hop, had existed much sooner.
FVD 105: “Intro Arts of the Moving Image”—Although past students who have taken this course have learned about film, video and “digital,” this restructured gateway class will teach you how simple concepts can sound more theoretical and important. In this class, we will refer to music as “auditory compositions” and graphics as “computer-generated visual elements.”
CULANTH 20S: “Family Matters”—Guest speaker Urkel.
CULANTH 307S: “Facts of Life”—You take the good, like basketball players in your sociology classes. You take the bad, like watching the OnlyBurger truck drive away. After the midterm, you will take them both and then you will have the “Facts of Life.” Not open to students who have taken CULANTH 20S or any other classes named after a TV show. Guest performance by The Blanks.
PHARM 197: “Drugs, Brain and Behavior”—For anyone who saw Reefer Madness performed by Hoof ‘n’ Horn this weekend, you will gain a more in-depth understanding of how marijuana has destroyed the moral fabric of America, is more addictive than crystal meth and actually causes the growth of fetuses. Since the 1960s, marijuana has contributed to a generation of sexually loose women and thousands of unwanted teenage pregnancies. This class will meet in the Edens Gazebo and the Sarah P. Duke Gardens. Even as a senior, I’ve always had difficulty deciding which electives to take. In the past week, I’ve completed a three-and-a-half hour BIO 25 lab with freshmen and sat in on “Computational Political Economics” with graduate students. I am not enrolled in either of these classes. Some of you may be wondering why on earth I would do this to myself. I have no response to this.
Like relationships at Duke, the drop/add period allows students to explore their options before making a commitment, although sometimes I wished that all relationships can be fixed as easily as my classes. Is this one too demanding? Drop. You mean I only have to see this one once a week? Add. Unfortunately, although we can unfriend and break up on Facebook, not all relationship problems can be solved in two weeks or with a click of a button. If only everything had a drop/add feature. Luckily, there’s still some time to decide. I still have a few more hours, right?
Sue Li is a Trinity senior. Her column runs every other Wednesday.
Get The Chronicle straight to your inbox
Signup for our weekly newsletter. Cancel at any time.