Reconnecting in a “Big (Beers)” way

Every year for approximately four months, an amazing phenomenon occurs at Duke. For one whole semester, normal social rules do not apply to the entire freshman class. Introducing yourself to a random person on the bus, mingling during “Crazies on the Quad,” sitting at a table in the Marketplace with complete strangers—none of these violate social etiquette.

A football player and a future Perkins geek go on a Target run together. A fratstar in the making and Brown resident go to a section party. Trinity and Pratt students hold hands and frolic together on the quad! It’s a strange world, but you’d be hard pressed to find a freshman that doesn’t enjoy this wonderland free of social norms.

But when you come back from winter break, the choices begin. You have to choose a fraternity, sorority, selective living group or even just your future roomie. Each decision changes the way you define yourself, and suddenly you’re no longer just a freshman, but a Pi Phi, an independent or a chemical engineer. Then one day someone in your dorm de-friends you on Facebook (who does that?), and you realize those social rules are back with a vengeance.

As sophomore and junior year roll by, you’ll start to wonder if it was all just a dream. Saying hello to people from your freshmen dorm will slowly devolve from an enthusiastic greeting, to casual “hey,” to polite smile, to pretending to be talking on your phone and ultimately to ignoring the other’s presence. It was bound to happen, of course, but it’s still disappointing.

But then senior year comes around, and you hear rumors of a place where you can be young and free again. They say it’s like freshman year, minus the fake IDs. The murmurs of a bar where beer is plentiful and the greek, geek and meek (I’m in an English class for the first time, sorry for the forced alliteration) can live in peace prove too appealing. So you do it, you head out to Satisfaction bar for Thursday Night “Big Beers.”

Disclaimer: Parents, employers and future children reading this 25 years from now, know that, though I’m of age, I only drink Coca-Cola at Satis, and the sole reason I attend is for journalistic purposes, I swear! A special note to my kids: It’s never good to drink alcohol, but if you do, you should definitely go for whatever the special is, just like how I only buy you new spacesuits if they’re on sale (if we’re not finally wearing spacesuits in 25 years, I give up on life).

Back to the point, the only way to describe “Big Beers” at Satis is a class of 2010 reunion. It really is a great sight; there are greeks, independents, P-Builders, Chronicle writers and even a few Durham locals all peacefully coexisting. In fact, it’s more than just putting up with each other as you push your way to the bar. People are catching up with old friends from freshman year, even rubbing shoulders with fellow seniors they haven’t rubbed shoulders with since taking that 2010 photo on the East Campus quad.

Why does “Big Beers” work? Mainly because no particular group sponsors the night. It’s not Delta Tau Delta presents “Big Beers,” it’s just “Big Beers,” and for that reason, even angsty independents like myself feel comfortable going. Now it’s debatable whether it’s actually a conscious decision by everyone to expand their social horizons, or just the draw of cheap beer that brings everyone there. But you can’t argue with the results; everyone is bonding with people outside of their normal social group, and having a lot of fun to boot.

Now of course, there’s a good reason you joined frat X, sorority Y or block Z. After all, those are your friends and you all share common interests. But that’s really the magic of “Big Beers”; you rediscover the fact that you share a lot of identities with your classmates, like the fact that you’re seniors, 21-year-olds, Dukies and lovers of the “Are You Afraid of the Dark”-era Nickelodeon. We all love our friends, but that shouldn’t preclude us from branching out even more.

How can the social-norm-less “Big Beers” be extended beyond Thursdays, or even to sophomores and juniors as well? It’d be easy to say that more outlets are all that’s needed, in the form of more events that aren’t hosted by a specific group. But we all get the e-mails from the Office of Student Activities and Facilities, and there’s plenty of stuff out there.

It really comes to down to recognizing that there was something good about that very first semester on East, something worth reclaiming. Freshman year, we were all meeting new people as we looked for our niches on campus. But then we found our social circles, closed our doors and moved to West.

It’s all about making a conscientious choice: Decide to go to more campus events that aren’t sponsored by a group you’re in, reconnect with old friends and take more social risks. Although we probably can’t recreate freshman year, why not try? In the very least, can we bring back Soulja Boy’s “Crank That?” It took me three years to learn the dance, and now nobody’s doing it anymore. Where is the love folks?

Jacob Wolff is a Trinity senior. His column runs every other Thursday.

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