Marvel Dates Disney

In a surprising move earlier this week, The Walt Disney Company bought Marvel Entertainment for approximately $4 billion, overtaking the comic book giant and ballooning their family of characters. This takeover injects the girl-centric Disney cast with a serious amount of testosterone, muscle and superpowers.

In a surprising move earlier this week, The Walt Disney Company bought Marvel Entertainment for approximately $4 billion, overtaking the comic book giant and ballooning their family of characters. This takeover injects the girl-centric Disney cast with a serious amount of testosterone, muscle and superpowers. But in a world where the wilder the pair-up the better (Lil’ Wayne and Leighton Meester at the MTV movie awards anyone?), I wonder where the current meet-and-greets going on between the superheroes and the princesses might lead to.

Therefore, recess presents a list of Disney-Marvel meant-to-bes:

Ariel & Hulk: Green skin and serious insecurities brought these two lovebirds together. A picture perfect relationship goes awry when the Hulk cannot contain his anger and crushes Sebastian in his fist during a rendition of “Under the Sea.”

Aladdin & Storm: Controlling the weather while cruising on a magic carpet is pretty boss. Equally don is having three wishes and Halle Berry at your disposal.  

Mary Poppins & Green Goblin: The whimsical British nanny woos the revenge-thirsty scientist by pulling Spiderman out of her magical bottomless carpetbag and letting the Goblin finish him off. Chim-chiminey, green-gobliney, bye Peter Parker-oo!

Pocahontas & Captain America: One: fall in love. Two: joint family feast! Three: Pocahantas’ family members fall mysteriously ill. Four: alcoholism runs rampant!? Five: Captain takes possession of their lands!?! Six: Trip to Foxwoods.

Snow White & Blade: Her fair, vampire-white skin immediately attracts Blade, and dating a leather jacket-donning half-vampire with a plethora of weapons was the opportunity for rebellion she was waiting for. After a full week of blood-sucking raves and that-accident-with-Sneezy-and-the-knife, Snow White has enough and repents by returning to her glass case for a month. Hope to see all you couples at Tailgate.