With freshman orientation looming in the distance, we're all reminded of how awkward it is to make new friends (especially after that extra Busch Light hits your low-tolerance blood).
But, in an incredible act of benevolence, recess is here to help, providing tips to make it through the most awkward (and useless) week of your life. Consider this the grown-up (or at least college) version of what Big Bird & Co. taught us.
- Commenting on how awkward orientation week is-that's awkward.
- Talking about how many AP classes you took or your SAT scores doesn't make you cool or impressive. Everyone else you're talking to received that Duke-stamped acceptance letter too. You're not special. You're not impressive. Besides, you're not the kid that got into Harvard.
- On a similar note, each and every one of you has some interesting skill or quirk. You might be the drummer/harmonica player in a shoegaze/lo-fi/noise rock/blues fusion duo out of Fargo, direct Shakespeare puppet theater or be moonlighting as a rogue demon hunter.
Or you might be a collector of women's undergarments. Whatever you do, that's cool. Just think before you advertise what it is that makes you special.
- Hooking up happens in college. Probably more often than it should. But just because you're having a slopping go at the hanky-panky doesn't mean you need to be trashy about it. Word travels fast, and you don't want to be remembered as the guy who said, "Hey wanna go back to my place, drink some hooch and spin some Rod Stewart records? We could even have some of that good ole in 'n' out." This isn't California. There's no missing that euphemism.
- Knowing the names of fraternities and sororities does not make you proficient in the Greek alphabet. And on that note, take heed: AEPi is different from ADPi, which in turn is different from ADPhi.
- Don't be the kid who says, "Yeah, Durham really sucks." No, it's not Brooklyn-or BK as the kids are calling it these days. It's not Amsterdam. But check the memo: things are hip below the beltway. At least in Durham anyway.
- Finally, just because you saw it in Animal House does not mean it actually happens. Don't shout "Toga! Toga!" at a party, unless, of course, you're at a toga party. This is school. Act like it.
Follow this guide and you'll be a regular Mr. Cool. Or you could just go the next four years without friends. It's not like anyone that goes to Duke is that great anyway.
Get The Chronicle straight to your inbox
Signup for our weekly newsletter. Cancel at any time.