REVIEW: Star Trek

I’d never imagined it possible for someone to be nerdier than me.  I can quote Harry Potter books.  I play in Magic: The Gathering tournaments, although one friend tells me that girls totally dig that.  I argue about whether or not Batman counts as a real superhero (he does).  Then I saw Star Trek, the new reboot to the classic franchise.  Now I realize that Trekkies boldly take nerdiness to a level where no man has gone before.

And I want to be one of them. Starting with the most heart-wrenching opening scene since Finding Nemo, Star Trek sets its phasers to stun.  And stun it does.  Young James T. Kirk (Chris Pine), a belligerent and cocky kid with loads of potential, gets recruited into Starfleet to be a spaceship captain.  After chance encounters his future crewmates, specifically his rival/friend Spock (Zachary Quinto), Kirk discovers he must save the Enterprise, the fleet, Earth and ultimately the universe.

This latest Star Trek installation had everything you could want out of a summer movie: hotties, humor and a helluva lot of explosions.  Fueled by action rather than dilithium and injected with wit, this movie will entertain any audience. Trekkies will find plenty of references to past Treks and everyone else will have their socks knocked off by the warp-speed fun.  The effects are lavish, the plot intriguing and the acting well performed; Pine and Quinto fill their roles perfectly while Nero (Eric Bana) pulls off the best planet-destroying villain since Darth Vader.

And please let me chime in on the Kirk vs. Picard debate, for those of you who know what I am talking about: Picard could take Kirk to the Klingon cleaners.  In the latest movie, Kirk doesn’t win a single fight.  Not one.  He could go up against my frightened little puppy and still find a way to get manhandled.  As a Star Wars fan, I don’t ever want to hear a “Kirk vs. Obi-Wan” argument again because if Kirk can’t whoop one of the red-shirted crew members (who always die, btw) in a bar fight, I seriously doubt he could fight a Jedi, a storm trooper or even an Ewok.

In honor of the Vulcan logic, though, allow me to re-assert my review as a proof.  Given: I am a Star Wars fan.  Given: Star Wars fans necessarily hate Star Trek.  Prove: Any kind of fan can find something to enjoy about this movie.  Proof: the new Star Trek movie.  If you are looking for entertainment, flashy special effects or just a reason to get out of the summer heat, you will absolutely find what you are looking for in Star Trek.