Obama's start

A little over two months ago, President Barack Obama was inaugurated amid much fanfare and excitement. Since the time of Franklin Roosevelt, it has become customary for presidents to get their agenda started within the first 100 days of their administrations, a period that ends on April 30.  Your fearless columnist, though, will be too busy studying for his econ exam or, more likely, procrastinating then, so we'll have to settle for a recap of the first 71 days:

• January 30: Intense debate breaks out among White House aides over whether to stimulate the economy of Applebee's or TGI Friday's during happy hour.
• February 2: Joe Biden walks out his front door and sees his shadow, signaling six more weeks of stimulus proposals.
• February 17: An attempt to introduce Obama's hip-hop supporters to Washington's power elite goes awry when Ludacris gets drunk and spends the entire evening hitting on Nancy Pelosi.
• February 21: The relationship between the Obama administration and the liberal wing of his party deteriorates after Michael Moore eats everything in the White House pantry.
• February 25: Attempting to bury the hatchet,  Obama sends Rush Limbaugh a box of peanut-butter sandwiches.
• March 6:  Obama's political advisers become concerned when, for the first time, polls show his approval rating in Durham slipping below 90 percent.
• March 11: Embarrassed at his gaffe in sending the British Prime Minister a set of classic American movies on DVDs that don't work in Europe, Obama attempts to rectify the matter by sending him an original print of the Declaration of Independence and a painting of the battle of Yorktown.  It doesn't work.
• March 21: Concerned about an escalating bracket dispute, the Joint Chiefs of Staff recommend deploying troops to Gonzaga.
• March 23: An unexpected stock market rally broadens the Obama administration's bipartisan support, leading Sarah Palin to declare that she can see 10,000 from her house.
• March 29:  Obama urges a calming of public outrage against AIG executives after realizing that given the amount of AIG's assets the federal government bought, he is now, technically, an AIG executive.