You know you go to Duke when...

I have sinned.

I have contributed to an Internet meme.

If—what do I mean, if?—Since you have a Facebook page, you probably are familiar with the "You Know You're From...When..." groups.  You probably won't get all, or even most, of the references if you're not from the actual location, but browsing these groups can introduce you to dozens of obscure regional grocery-store chains and lead you to discover the similarities between different places (apparently, the United States alone has about 30 locations where you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, 75 where the only spices are salt, pepper and ketchup, and over 500 where you have to switch from heat to air conditioning in the same day).

Upon encountering these, I sensed an opportunity to help my hometown, Elizabethtown, Pennsylvania, escape from being overshadowed by nearby Hershey, as well as Elizabethtown, Kentucky, which is apparently the nation's most prominent Elizabethtown (but at least we don't have an ultra-sappy movie about us).  I started a Facebook group called, naturally, "You know you're from Elizabethtown, PA, when..." (you can find it here, but you probably won't understand a lot of it).  It was surprisingly successful, drawing over 1,100 members, leading me to wonder if something similar might work at Duke.  Here goes:

You know you go to Duke when...

• You have to explain to your friends from other colleges that you only get one credit per class.
• Labor Day?  What's Labor Day?
• The name "Mike Nifong" still makes your blood boil.
• The only words of the school fight song you know can't be repeated on a family-friendly blog such as this.
• You realize Chapel Hill is a better college town than Durham, but you'd never admit it.
• You've studied abroad in Europe, your roommate is Chinese, you've attended an Indian dance show and you have a favorite Thai dish, but parts of Durham are too weird for you.
• You can actually pronounce and spell "Krzyzewski".
• You factor waiting for the bus into your daily schedule.
• Tailgating has nothing to do with actually attending the football game, and you don't understand why anyone thinks it would.
• Living in a tent for two months after paying $10,180 for room and board makes perfect sense.
• You have to dodge tourists on your way to class.
• You have been asked to take a complete stranger's picture in front of the Chapel.
• You frequently park illegally.
• You don't feel too strongly about the stimulus, the war, President Obama, or the economy, but you are passionate about whether to go to Virginia Beach or Myrtle Beach after finals.
• You actually like Dick Vitale.