Eating disorders: recollections and reflections

I found today's Chronicle article on eating disorders especially moving. Unfortunately, many of the people closest to me have struggled with these problems, and so I could not help but reflect on what I consider to be one of the most disturbing issues among young women today.

One of my best friends in high school was seriously anorexic/bulimic. Three years ago, I was driving her home from school and she started telling me that her doctor told her that her esophagus was bleeding and that she was going to die if she didn't stop throwing up. This was the first time my friend openly admitted that she had an eating disorder to me. She started breaking down in tears. She didn't want to go back home; her family life was really stressful and when she was at home she would just purge to cope. If her family questioned her eating habits, this only exacerbated the problem, and she would just refuse to eat. She is very athletic--an exceptional swimmer and runner--and so she also overexercised. She told me about a time when she ran 13 miles and just fainted at one point because she didn't want to stop even though she was exhausted. I can't remember another instance where it was more difficult for me to fight back tears.

I offered to have her stay at my house. So for six weeks, she lived with me. We slept in the same bed (I have a queen), ate meals together and went to school together. She literally became my sister. As a whole, she appeared to be getting better. She was eating more consistently (albeit very small portions) and typically kept her food down. She did have a couple of relapses though; once my housekeeper found that there was throw up choking up the drain in the sink. I remember this happened after my friend had made a visit back to her home.

On the whole, my friend appears to be better now. I think she is generally honest with me, but you never know. She still is pretty thin, but I think (or hope) it's mostly because she is on the track team at her college.

Eating disorders are a really difficult issue to address. From my experience with my friends and family (unfortunately, it's pretty extensive), I've found that, as a friend, it's best to encourage healthy eating and exercise, without being critical, and offer encouraging remarks about the person's body. I think people usually approach the problem incorrectly. They tell individuals with the disorder to eat more because they are too thin, but this only makes the problem worse. The individuals will perceive these recommendations as jealousy, and to be honest, they aren't completely wrong. Girls have an odd habit of forcing food on one another, even if they don't want to eat the food themselves. I've also seen parents and doctors create eating disorders where none exist by telling their teenage daughters that they are too thin and need to gain weight.

Food is a basic need, and it is often used as a remedy. But food is also, in a sense, a "cop-out" way to help someone. This is not to say that offering food is a bad thing to do, but it is inappropriate under these circumstances. Offering food can be viewed as impersonal and not requiring too much thought on the part of the giver. In some ways, it can be seen as the most primitive method of assistance, which some might take as offensive. For individuals with eating disorders, this is especially true; it shows that the individual offering the food doesn't understand the nature of the problem at hand. Ultimately, forcing food down the throat of someone that suffers from an eating disorder is not merely useless, but counter-effective. A much more sensitive approach needs to be taken.

For more about eating disorders among Duke students, see Kristen Davis's article in today's Chronicle:

For some, eating disorders define a troubling lifestyle