My Few minor complaints

Now I realize The Chronicle has already reported on the minor problems that came with the opening of the new Few Quad. So you’ve already heard about the wireless/ Ethernet problems, the hot-water issues, etc. But I figured that as a current Few resident, my first hand testimony could provide a different angle (and different problems):

1. Definite Lack of Hello Kitty posters. Take a gander at the photo to the right. What is it? Yes, it’s a blank wall. What would make this blank wall more aesthetically appealing? The near universal response is of course a Hello Kitty poster. I’m a pretty big proponent of the idea that most any space can be made better by a Hello Kitty poster—or four. They really just make any surface that much more cheery. There are just way too many barren walls in Few, and we need some more cute Asian cats! Seriously, what was RLHS thinking?!
2. Pretzel stick on the floor. This morning, after my shower, I noticed there was a pretzel stick on the floor under my desk. Now, this could very well be from the bag of opened pretzel sticks sitting on my desk that I was munching on last night. But, for some reason, the cynic in me thinks it could be the result of corners being cut during the renovation in order to meet the January deadline. How, you ask? I’m not sure… more investigation needs to be done. Unfortunately, it may be difficult, as I actually just ate the aforementioned pretzel (the carpets are brand new and must be clean). But if anymore pretzels mysteriously appear on my floor, RLHS is gonna hear about it.
3. Ants Ants Ants! Most every dorm at Duke deals with ants. For some reason, in my experience, they are always in the bathrooms. Well, I already saw one on the shower curtain this morning. I personally don’t care so much about ants; they’re pretty harmless in my book. My concern though is that, while driving down to Durham from Chicago, I purchased one of those awesome Uncle Milton ant farms from a rest stop (for $2.99 only!!!). I’m still waiting for my ants to arrive in the mail, but I’m worried that these nomadic, hunter-gatherer foreign invader ants I saw in the shower will pose a threat to my peaceful, agriculture based ant farm. After seeing the movies “Antz” and “A Bug’s Life,” I know an ant war is inevitable. I’m worried; I just don’t think my hippie ant commune farmers will have the fighting spirit in them to protect their lands.
4. Scald Guards?? Apparently, upon renovating the Few bathrooms, Duke decided that the number of hot water related injuries was a serious problem, and installed showers with a so called “Scald Guard.” After my first shower, I came up with a more adequate name: “Refreshing, enjoyable warm shower guard.” Basically these “Scald Guards” just prevent you from turning the water knob beyond the halfway point… giving you water that, though not “scalding,” is more in the range of “cold to luke warm.” Though I see the merit of preventing people from burning themselves, I don’t see why they couldn’t have designed the device to let me venture a bit further into that wonderfully warm red territory. On the plus side, my constant leg in, leg out, arm in, arm out movements as I dip my limbs in the cold water to avoid freezing to death have greatly bettered my hokey pokey skills. Hoboken N.J. 2009 Hokey Pokey Championships, here I come.

Clearly, I have very trivial/ not real complaints. So to that I say, bravo RLHS, Duke, the Facilities Management Department and everyone else who took part in the renovation... Few is great.