Christian duo will make 506 the Pottery barn

God's Pottery is a comedy duo akin to Flight of the Conchords. Wilson Hall and Krister Johnson play outre Christian zealots Jeremiah Smallchild and Gideon Lamb in their musical acts and were contestants on Last Comic Standing Season 6. recess' Brian Contratto recently spoke with them about religion, bullies and tricky women.

What exactly is God's Pottery? Do you identify with a genre or any contemporaries?

We just like to make music that makes people smile. I wish there was a genre called "funtime." Do we have any contemporaries? Maybe Kenny Loggins and magicians.

Magicians, really?

We want people to come to our shows and think, "What just happened and why am I so happy?" It's magical, like when a rabbit is pulled out of hat. But our rabbit also teaches abstinence.

Speaking of magic, what's your take on Harry Potter?

We like Harry Potter... but it can be a gateway to some deeper, darker magic. It would help if the reader has a buddy looking over their shoulders just in case. We like to use the buddy system whenever we read.

What kind of audience do your shows attract?

Everyone-Lutherans, Catholics, Episcopalians. It's fun for everyone. Sometimes we'll even have an Islamic person in the audience, if they can schedule it around their prayer. We try not to go on too long in case they have to go pray again.

Ever get any Mormons? Or do they count as Christians too?

Um, yeah... sure. That's a fun way to look at things. It's like asking, "Are skittles fruit?" Well, yes. Technically, yes.

How was it being on Last Comic Standing?

It definitely gave us a much wider audience. And a book deal. We're writing a teen survival guide called What Would God's Pottery Do? Every page is different. It's all a part of our three-pronged attack: music, television and books....Oh and there's a fourth prong-friendship. Also smiles and hugs, but those could share a prong. That's actually five prongs, which could be too many.

What do you guys think about premarital sex?

Let me throw some stats at you. Seventy percent of people who engage in premarital sex end up in prison. We aren't saying that to scare people, but those are the numbers. We aren't going to scare you any further by showing you the data that's based on either.

Do you have any relationship advice?

This is more advice for the boys. There are a lot of girls who want to be your friend, but quite often they are looking for something more-something sexual. They'll play tricks like calling you and saying, "Help! I'm lost in a North Carolina tobacco field! Come to my room and help me!"

What about alcohol?

It's your choice, but we only have a drink on Sundays. We ought to write a song for college students called "Binge Praying." No one ever got sick from too much prayer.

Finally, how would you deal with bullies?

In a tense situation, the best thing to do is give a hug. Tell the bully, "I'm not letting go until you realize how good this is for both of us." The one thing in common between "hug" and "bully" is "u."

God's Pottery plays tonight at 9 p.m. at the Local 506 in Chapel Hill. Tickets are $10 at the door.

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