A cause for panic

There are three letters that, in combination, are lethal enough that I believe they should be banned. Some could say they have a unifying quality, in that there is no segment of the Duke population that doesn't recognize them. No other utterances have the power to be tossed around with such frequency and the ability to strike all those involved in conversation with apprehension. As it spreads through the air we all share, it infects everyone, causing the same disease.

The three letters I speak of are GPA.

Don't worry, you've already been infected (probably way before stepping foot onto the Gothic Wonderland). And though incubation period varies, freshmen, you've probably already contracted the disease it engenders, academic competitiveness.

In my years of research on the proliferation of this disease, I have found that academic competitiveness is not congenital, as many believe. It may seem that some are naturally more competitive than others, but, in reality, everyone that comes into contact with GPA develops academic competitiveness.

It is often believed that academic competitiveness is induced by environmental stresses, such as diet or risky behavior. For example, those in an environment which creates stress to do well-such as a home with accomplished parents or siblings, or even worse, parents who are doctors or lawyers and expect the same fate for their progeny-happen to display a greater degree of academic competitiveness at an earlier age than those in other households. Those consuming a diet laden with fears of the future, self-doubt and need for validation through accolades also seem to exhibit academic competitiveness in higher proportion than those on a healthier diet. Those engaged in risky behaviors such as overachieving, effectively managing their time and involving themselves in résumé building extracurriculars show an exponentially higher rate of academic competitiveness than others.

Contrary to popular belief, family history, diet and risky behavior, however, are only means by which GPA is spread, not the cause of academic competitiveness. Those in accomplished homes are exposed to GPA at an earlier age than their peers. Also those consuming an unbalanced diet of anxiety are exposed to GPA in greater proportion than others, because low self-esteem, a common constituent of such diets, is a proven vector for GPA transmission. Those engaging in overachieving are exposed to a large pool of those affiliated with academic competitiveness; because GPA is contagious after infecting a host, this microbe spreads rapidly in such communities.

Unfortunately, Duke's campus is probably among the most GPA-infected areas in America. This is possibly due to the fact that many of the few students across the nation invited to attend this illustrious institution already carry the GPA bug. Once they move onto our Durham campus, the campus becomes a hub of GPA contractions. Thus, year after year, the number of those suffering from academic competitiveness increases.

The real casualities in this pandemic are those, like myself, who were not stricken with academic competitiveness before arriving at Duke. I was fortunate enough to get through life learning for learning's sake, an attitude that brought with it academic success. In high school, I was surrounded by a crowd relatively free of academic competitiveness, though there was a small percentage of my high school peers that had the dangerous disease. Instead, there was a milder bug that spread though the hallways of my high school called standardized test scores, which largely induced general academic motivation and, on rare occasions, outbreaks of panic attacks (usually the night before AP exams).

Although general academic motivation-induced symptoms such as hard work, occasional worry and rare panic attacks, academic competitiveness induces severe stress, chronic panic attacks and mental breakdowns, nervous habits, all-nighters, brown-nosing and, in very severe cases, social suicide. One can also detect academic competitiveness if the victim constantly utters expressions of denunciation over average or less-than-average test or paper scores, demanding to compare their scores with others, nervous calculation of grades and, in some terminal cases, sabotaging their peers.

I do not agree with those who say academic competitiveness can be beneficial. You only have to look to examples of those who contract it later in their careers, like me, who went from productive members of society to whining pre-meds who take angry naps after scoring "average" on physics exams. And, sadly, there seems to be no end to GPA, as it has become increasingly more prevalent in the globalizing economy. Thus, my wish to mitigate the effects of the existence of GPA does not seem possible during my stay at Duke. The best one can do is treat their symptoms by sleep, food or ethanol.

Ashley Sarpong is a Trinity junior. Her column runs every other Friday.

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