Academy Award for Sale

Dear Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences,

It has come to our attention that you think your precious golden statue is really something special. I mean, don't get me wrong. Titanic was a really great movie. Really. I love overacting, unsightly makeup jobs and epic melodrama as much as the next guy. And James Cameron's a real modest guy. 

But you've kind of been slipping in recent years. Crash? Juno? Really? C'mon guys. We all know you're better than that. Even if public interest is waning, that's no excuse to award bad films.

I could lecture on movies you should nominate this year (or at least ones you shouldn't give too much credit too), but that's not my goal. No, my beef is Mary Pickford's Oscar statues. So it was a really, really long time ago when you gave the silent film star her awards. Keep word: GAVE. Now, her heirs have them and they want to sell them for charity. But you're suing those children for disrespecting your award.

I know getting an Oscar is the biggest award in film, and if any Joe the Plumber had one, it would devalue it. But you're giving people a gold-painted naked man. That's just tacky. And preventing charitable donations-so not cool. It's really not a big deal. There's a ton of people around who have Oscars who don't deserve them. So what's a few more. Really? Just let Mary Pickford's statues go. They were a gift.

Sincerely,

A.O. Hibbard

P.S. I think Hugh is a really be a good choice. I'll be watching.