Low expectations

We here at sacrasm weekly recess might not be the smartest kids around. Or the most popular. Or, for that matter, the most hygenic. But there is one thing that recess staffers have in spades: skepticism.

Which is why when I heard about the recent ASA-sponsored forum on interracial dating, I salivated. Here was the perfect opportunity to both poke fun and fall in love.

To say that I am currently seeking an Asian girlfriend is like saying Joe Biden is prone to saying dumb things: it's true, but it's still an understatement. The over/under for times I would fall in love was seven. I took the over.

"This would be an easy sandbox," I thought. "Make a few race references, approach some unsuspecting freshmen, throw in a Tiger Woods or Barack Obama joke and this thing would practically write itself."

I entered the Multicultural Center dripping with a nice mixture of sarcasm, low expectations and Sitar.

I had already pre-written my first question: "We all know that once you go black, you never go back and once you go white, everything's right. But is it true that once you go Asian, your life is amazin'?"

In addition, I could not wait to ask, "How do you feel about interracial dating?," and then follow this up with, "How do you feel about interracial dating...me?"

Hilarity would have no choice but to ensue, right?

As the minutes passed, my doubt faded and my preconceptions vanished. "So this is what it's like to talk to people who are not suffocating in self-doubt," I wrote on my notebook. "It's, like, pleasant. I need to try this again some time."

To all the event organizers who I intended to undermine: I am sorry. Your event was well organized and thoughtful. Plus, the refreshments were excellent. But even the free Loop cookies and soda couldn't match the sweet taste of what I really lift with: humble pie.