The Sandbox - The Young Jeezy of Swimming

In a statement of Chad Johnson-esque levels of delusion, Young Jeezy offered the humble opinion that Michael Phelps, he of the eight gold medals and fish-like physique, is the "Young Jeezy of swimming." Inspired by the venerable wisdom of Jeezy-san's metaphor, recess decided to explore other surprising connections in the world of entertainment.

"Gossip Girl is the Katy Perry of television." Now, this isn't necessarily saying that Gossip Girl reaches the previously untouched levels of awfulness that "I Kissed a Girl" achieved, but both do share an uncanny ability to get tweener moms in an uproar. Plus, quality of the show aside, the CW's new promotional campaign shares the same trashy "edginess" that must be responsible for why anyone listens to Perry. I kissed a Gossip Girl, indeed.

"Judd Apatow is the Thom Yorke of film." Both men can't miss these days, and every show Yorke puts on stars the same supporting cast, just as every Apatow movie features Rogen, Rudd, Baruchel, etc. Although Apatow hasn't quite yet attained the Ghandi-like levels of reverence that Yorke enjoys, he's also not insane, a quality that Thom and Jeezy certainly share.

"El Greco is the Lil Wayne of art." Best artist in the Nasher, best rapper in the world. Next.

"Robert Downey, Jr. is the Barack Obama of film." Both men have made waves in the world of race recently: Downey Jr. by playing an Australian playing a black man, and Obama by playing a black man running for president. Both are firsts, and both are doing fantastic jobs. Hopefully Oliver Stone will cast Downey Jr. somewhere in W., and the comparison will be complete. Also, the two share highly controversial histories with cocaine, although Downey Jr.'s probably done more coke than the entire Democratic Party combined.

But this does raise an important question: Is there anyone in the world right now who shares the same level of fame and success that Phelps does? He triumphed on the world's largest stage with little real competition (although Milorad Cavic might beg to differ), and people are seriously discussing him as the greatest Olympian ever. Jeezy can't even lay claim to being the best artist from his own city, an honor that would likely be earned by Outkast. Or, uh, Soulja Boy. The only way to truly resolve this problem is to make rapping an Olympic event, which would allow the world to find out who really has the best freestyle.