In order to see first-hand pop culture's fixation with young people getting married, you only need to watch MTV's show Engaged and Underage. The series chronicles couples between the ages of 18 and 22 as they plan to walk down the aisle, often flouting convention in typical melodramatic style by doing things like converting the wedding reception into a punk rock dance party. However, finding true love at college isn't just fodder for daytime TV-for some Duke undergraduate couples, engaged life coincides with dorm life.
Seniors Kristen Seemann and Matthew Piehl prove that the friends you meet during freshman orientation really may be for life.
"We kind of met the first week of school during freshman activities and we became friends," Piehl said.
The two have been dating ever since and became engaged at the beginning of this semester. Experiences from their freshman year continue to have a lasting impact upon their future as a couple, influencing how Piehl proposed to Seemann.
"Well, there's that story I heard freshman year from the Duke archivist about the statue of The Sower on East Campus and how in the '50s and '60s couples would walk around East. The story is if they found a dime or quarter or something in The Sower's hand then that was the person you were supposed to be with," Piehl said. "We tried to find it freshman year, but it was being cleaned or renovated or something, so we couldn't find it. so then one morning I snuck over and put a coin there, and late that day we took a walk around East Campus and found it, so then I proposed to her."
Like Piehl, Duke alum Mark Donahue's (T '06) proposal was closely connected to Duke culture. When asking senior Elizabeth Harding to marry him, Donahue highlighted their mutual devotion to Duke basketball.
"We met in the [Duke University Marching Band], and basketball was the main reason that we were in band in the first place," Harding said. "It was a big part of our interests, and so he actually was able to reserve Cameron and propose in the center circle of the Duke D with all these roses in the center court."
Upon announcing their engagement, both couples have encountered reactions that range from excitement to incredulity.
"Definitely the reaction I get most is surprise, like 'Oh, really?'" Harding said. "And it's just that so many people think it's strange or a little unusual for someone my age to be engaged and thinking that seriously about settling down with someone. A lot of people react like, 'Oh, wow, that's cool. I guess.' But I'm really excited."
In contrast, Seemann experienced a more stereotypical reception of the news.
"I think that people generally are excited. A lot of the girls scream when they find out, which is hilarious to me," Seemann said. "I think that sometimes people aren't sure how to react because it's a rare thing to occur around here."
When asked why she thought most Duke couples aren't engaged, Seemann pointed out the tremendous time commitment than an overtly serious relationship entails.
"People are so busy here at Duke that they sometimes don't prioritize relationships. They prioritize their career and their academics and what they're going to do," she said. "And I really think that... when we began dating in our freshman year, it actually was probably better for us, because we kind of built in time for each other and we always found time for each other even with all our work load."
Harding, on the other hand, brings up the pervasive popularity of intentionally less-committed relationships.
"Well, there's the whole debate about the hook-up culture, and so people think [that] people don't really date at Duke," she said. "People do, and sometimes they date for a while, and... I guess people see serious relationships as a little rare on campus and, if you are engaged, that's definitely a serious relationship."
Whatever the laws of Duke dating, the often unnoticed community of engaged couples offer a welcome Valentine's Day reminder that even the most ingrained rules are made to be broken.
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