Tonight I made a bet that I know I am going to lose.
I told Chronicle head honchos David Graham and Sean Moroney that recess would be done by midnight. It is 11:28 p.m. and we have more than an hour's work to do in 30 minutes. The bet is a bet of honor, but since this publication has been pretty dishonorable when it comes to deadlines, it is important to win.
You may say, "Hey Varun, is this time bet the reason why you didn't write Sandbox and you just have a silly picture of O.J.?"
And I would respond, "Shut up or I will place you in a pit with Michael Vick's dogs, a gyrating Britney Spears and University of Florida Police (i.e. The Trifecta of Terror)."
Oh and if you haven't seen the jaw-dropping video yet, go to YouTube and search Florida, Taser and watch in amazement. Here is a rundown for those not-so-news savvy: Student asks annoying questions; po-pos manhandle him away from the mic; he struggles as he asks why he is being arrested and the Bobbies break out Mr. Stunny 5000. You know... standard police procedure.
Also, am I allowed to say Bobbies? That might only be for British people... just like bad dentistry and even worse food. Zing!
Okay, so that last rant only bought me 80 words... maybe I should get back on topic.
So why is recess bad at keeping deadlines? Maybe because it is a bad idea to put 20 artsy kids together and tell them to make a paper or because we all coincidentally love procrastinating. I like to think that is has something to do with al-Qaeda, a grassy knoll and the staged moon walk.
Conspiracy theories aside, although we have major problems (including not leaving the office until 6:00 a.m.) recess is getting better, but we can be more good if you join us. Hint, hint. Wink, Wink. Cough, recess0708@gmail.com, cough.
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