Any traumatic experience is an opportunity for growth and improvement. For the members of Duke's lacrosse team, last spring's rape scandal certainly qualifies.
"This whole experience is going to be a blessing as all these kids get older," lacrosse coach John Danowski says. "It's going to be an unbelievable experience, just a hell of a thing to live through."
For now, Danowski and the players say that it is still difficult to think and talk about last spring. The emotions associated with being on trial in front of the public, with being branded "hooligans" and "rapists" and with watching three close friends face long jail sentences might still be a little too raw. These young men have been accused of racism and sexism and they have seen three of their friends charged with much worse. And they were forced to stand by while those three friends had their faces splashed on the cover of magazines and newspapers all over the country with headlines calling them rapists.
"It was very painful because you saw three individuals that you cared deeply about just sort of dragged over the coals," senior captain Ed Douglas says. "And there was nothing you could do about it. We could call them; we could talk to them; we could reach out to them; but there was nothing we could do on a broader level to alleviate the sense of betrayal they felt."
Maybe in a few years, they say, they'll be in a better position to think objectively about last spring and to really see it as a blessing in disguise.
"I'm not at the time right now to really look back on it, maybe a couple years from now," senior captain Tony McDevitt says. "But from what I can look back on now, yeah, it's going to be a learning experience, already has been. How to deal with the media-we got lesson 101 on media psychology. And also, who your true friends are, your family and friends and people you can trust-I can feel that learning process happening."
As far as the media goes, team captains McDevitt, Matt Danowski and Douglas-who have served with defenseman Casey Carroll as the team's official spokesmen-say they never expected to be public figures when they came to Duke. They never expected to be talking to USA Today or the New York Times, or really any national media.
John Danowski knew when he was hired that he would be the most famous lacrosse coach in the world, but the players have had this responsibility thrust upon them. "No one, as far as I know, has had to go through this kind of firestorm before," Douglas says.
But the lessons have been bigger than that.
"One of the things we've learned is how myopic stereotypes are, either of the lacrosse team, or of the student group or of the community itself," Douglas says. "Durham has been portrayed in a particularly negative light, and I don't think it has been done in a nuanced way, it's sort of been done in broad brush strokes. So I think we recognize there have been failures in the characterization of people and of places throughout this story, but that's a lesson we've learned and hopefully that means that when we interact with people we can break down those stereotypes."
That's pretty heady stuff for a member of a team that was criticized less than a year ago for its collective arrogance and objectification of women. Not many 22 year-olds, athlete or non-athlete, have that type of perspective.
Beyond that perspective, though, is the understanding that they actually do have the power to change stereotypes. Their reintegration into the community by volunteer work and frank conversation has show them that much. "Anytime you can sit down and talk with someone or work with someone you begin to change the way they think about you," Douglas says.
And that's a lesson worth learning.
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