For years Sampson the giant horse has been a staple of the North Carolina State Fair. Billed as both taller than Bigfoot and larger than a monster truck, Sampson has been an inspiration for young horses everywhere who dream of one day being awkwardly gawked at by random teenagers hawked up on fried, seven dollar, cotton turkey-candy.
This year, however, a dark shadow has been cast across the reputation of this epitome of equine enormity. Though officials claim that Sampson's monstrous gargantuosity is maintained by consuming 150 pounds of food per day, recent tests suggest drug use may be a factor.
In his pre-fair screening, Sampson reportedly tested positive for 52 different anabolic steroids, 12 of which are often found in humpback whales.
Handlers have categorically denied all charges, mentioning only that Sampson regrets being unable to enjoy his favorite ride, "The Twister," due to a combination of oppressive press coverage and lack of a bipedal system of locomotion.
In the past, Sampson has been showcased running on a large treadmill that powers the entire fairground through an elaborate series of ropes and pullies. Pending investigation, however, handlers have kept the giant in his personal trailer-a tent-like structure found just to the right of the $3 freak show.
Sampson faces criminal charges of drug abuse and violation of the 1993 ban on carnival-related performance enhancers-a controversial law enacted after an LSD-induced fight between a pair of Siamese twins and a bearded-lady on ecstacy claimed the lives of 24 fairgoers.
If these allegations are substantiated, Sampson could face fines and up to 300 hours of community service.
Behind the apparent calm of the Sampson camp, insiders report the giant has developed a drinking habit and has experienced moderate weight loss, dropping roughly 900 metric tons.
When asked about recent allegations of steriod abuse, Sampson could only comment, "Nay."
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