The Rumor Mill

LATTE PROBLEMS IN BC The Bryan Center's freshly painted fluorescent concrete walls may soon house a new tenant: Starbucks. One top administrator says discussions are hot-and-heavy for the coffee shop to open in the space currently housing OSAF offices, which recently had large glass windows installed to give the building even the tiniest hint of life. Another person familiar with the discussions, though, says that with liberal faculty diametrically opposed to the corporation-to-end-all-corporations setting up shop on campus, a deal is a long way off. RM has a solution to make everyone happy: Anyone with a car, non-blue zone parking, six-figure salary and 16 weeks of vacation time a year can continue to trek to Ninth Street for a decent espresso, while everyone else can decide for themselves whether they want a cup of the world's most popular brew.

PARIS, MILAN... DURHAM? A list of trendy metropolitan cities typically wouldn't include North Carolina's top tobacco hotspot. Still, that hasn't stopped some students from trying to jumpstart their own fad this semester by toting skateboards 24/7. Crock designers in New York and London may be predicting muted colors and plaids for next spring, but they obviously haven't realized the powerful statement that a ratty, third-grader skateboard can make. These local fashion mavens seem unfazed by the fact that much of the campus is built on a hill and can't be traversed on wheels without constantly stopping to carry the boards down flights of stairs-it's high-stylin' at any cost. And to those trying to extend the trend to Razor scooters, RM has only one message: too soon.

MORE FELONIOUS STUDENTS The heart and soul of traditional Main West quadrangle gatherings aren't the only things being stolen on the new plaza. The cafeteria-inspired blue chairs have been going like wildfire ever since they were placed outside with no security measures at the start of the semester. But what did Student Affairs expect? The Marketplace annually runs out of silverware due to pilfering freshmen, anything not chained down on East Campus disappears within minutes-even the libraries have stopped putting out scrap paper, presumably because the partiers in Club Bostock abused the privilege. RM sees the chair thievery as an implicit endorsement of the direction of University policy in the seating department. After all, no one has ever wanted to steal a Spanish bench.

VIVA LA RESISTANCE Under new management this semester, The Perk did away with its bottomless coffee policy, harming the University's youngest charges. RM urges all students to join those already flagrantly abusing the one-refill max en route to finishing up last minute problem sets and papers. It's all in the name of a well-rounded education, really.