Sandbox: Sometimes we eat the Panda,

Sometimes alcohol makes you vomit and collapse on your friend's velveteen couch; other times, it makes you yearn to caress the soft fur of a beautiful black and white panda bear. And you never know what'll happen-that's the beauty of tossing back a shot of whiskey or enjoying a few beers with your friends. And, as Zhang Xinyan, a migrant worker in the great country of China found out, the combination of alcohol and panda bears doesn't always go together

Here's Xinyan's story: he had a few too many Tuesday, went to the Beijing Zoo, and, attracted (as we all are) by the allure of the panda bear's soft fur, hopped into the enclosure and attempted to pet its head. The bear wasn't too keen, and took a little nibble on young Zhang's leg. Zhang yelled "An eye for an eye!" (unconfirmed) and bit the bear right where it hurts the worst (No, you sicko, not there! In the back!). Then he kicked the bear, and the bear bit his other leg. The Associated Press adds that "a tussle then occurred."

Lord knows what that means. Zoo workers came in and controlled the panda by spraying it with water, which seems more like a way to control a pet bird than a fully grown bear, but whatever. After this instance of Panda Bear vs. Human, recess is proud to present a few other biting matchups we'd like to see:

Ruben Studdard vs. Gray Whale-

Largest appetite wins, although a lot will ride on food selection. If it's gumbo, I'll hand the title to Studdard right now. If it's plankton, I'll still hand the title to Studdard right now.

Seagull vs. Joan Rivers-

Both scavengers, this should be a close battle. I'll give it to Rivers, but I'm rooting for the seagull to bring on da funk (whatever that means).

Nicole Ritchie vs. Hamburger-