TIPster (in nerdy voice): Yeah, that's the whole point of the theory of relativity. It's all RELATIVE!
--Great Hall
Girl: So, is she more of a friend or more like a date?
Guy: Uh, I'll tell you in the morning.
--Satisfaction's Bar
Guy (after hearing fireworks from the Duke Gardens): It's actually just East Durham.
--In front of Duke Chapel
Fun lies to tell P-Frosh: If a Duke cop stops you, offer him a sip, and he'll let you off scot free.
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