No Babies allowed on The Train

Well, so much for George Washington's athleticism and attacking style causing problems for Duke.

The Train didn't even have to kick into high gear. I spent the whole game thinking, "Hey, this is the second round of the NCAA Tournament, and we're two stops from Indy, maybe the guy shoveling coal into the furnace in the little car behind the engine should be working a little harder."

The UConn Jalopy got to see a good game-twice. Texas' Covered Wagon had to sweat out a close one against Penn. Villanova's VW Bug was in overdrive in the second round. Fans of The Team Formerly Known as Boston Public's girl's team (it's Tournament time, got to rep the ACC) got 10 minutes of bonus basketball in the first round.

Meanwhile, The Train (U.S. Patent No. B3946006 Pending) witnessed the college basketball equivalent of an older brother beating up his little bro. And it wasn't even like The Train got to see some spectacular beat down; instead, it got 40 minutes of big bro eating a bologna sandwich while keeping little bro and his flailing fists at arms length.

"Duke is Duke," GW guard J.R. Pinnock said, aptly summing up, in three words, what might have been the least exciting 13-point game in NCAA Tournament history.

Welcome aboard The Train, J.R. We've saved you a window seat.

By the middle of the second half, I was worried less about questions like "Will Duke be able to handle Pops Mensah-Bonsu?" and more about questions like "How did J.J. Redick manage to begin his celebratory fist pump while on the way to the ground after making a ridiculous reverse lay-up?"

Mind-numbingly bored America may have missed it, but this was fist-pumping at its finest-instead of waiting to land, Duke's superstar guard got his pump on while he was airborne and horizontal. Let's see Mr. Morrison do that (if he hasn't killed too many brain cells from repeatedly beating himself in the forehead with a basketball).

Even if the "Tahoe" stalls on the way to Atlanta (real men drive stick, duh) and Krzyzewski doesn't make it, Duke's coaching would still be better than LSU's.

Tiger coach John Brady has won a grand total of four NCAA Tournament games in his nine years as head coach-two in 2000 and two last week-despite coaching three SEC Players of the Year and four SEC Freshmen of the Year. Last year, with both the best player and the best freshman in the conference, LSU won zero tournament games.

Louisiana State's media guide also notes that 12 players have earned their diplomas during the eight years on Brady's watch. Watch out Bob Huggins, Brady's breathing down your neck.

But there's no reason to rip on Brady just because he hasn't really won in the Tournament and he doesn't really graduate that many players. After all, it's not like those are the two purposes a college basketball coach serves at a university or anything.

Check out his game plan for Thursday. He thinks if his team can get to the foul line, "it may give us an advantage." Hey coach, It might also give you an advantage if you can score more points than Duke. Just maybe.

His plan for guarding J.J. Redick is "We'll kind of see what happens." Imagine his pre-game pep talk: "Come on guys, let's get out there and see what happens!"

Hey John, when Duke beats you Thursday, do you want a window seat on The Train, or an aisle? We'll try not to put you next to Big Baby, he probably needs two seats.

Choo, choo.