Valentine's Day is not a holiday for the weak. It is a holiday for the strong-willed, the Hallmark-versed-it is a holiday for poetic minds like J.J. Redick and e.e. cummings. That being said, there is one part of this year's Duke Valentine's Day that is accessible to the everyday man or woman-Speed Dating. Offered for the first time to undergraduates this Friday, Duke Speed Dating is an exciting new opportunity for those of us who cannot meet anyone to date or cannot carry date conversation past the two-minute mark. recess recently overheard a "practice" speed date:
Girl: So, what do you like to do?
Boy: Actually, not much. I'm sorta awkward.
Girl: Wait, are you Jesse Colvin?
Boy: Yeah.
Whoops, recess sure chose the wrong conversation to overhear. We better do it this way: here's how recess imagines a typical Duke Speed Date will go:
Boy: Hi, I like to wakeboard and lift weights.
Girl: Hi, I wear tights instead of jeans. That's the new "fashion that was hot last season and just got to Duke."
Boy: Yes, I know. Hey, do you know where all the books are at Bostock?
Girl: Haha. Yes. They are upstairs. But I was confused for a while too. I also could not find them.
Boy: I have a question. Do you eat?
Girl: Occasionally.
Boy: Would you enjoy consuming food with me at some point in the near future?
Girl: Yes. That would be grand.
Annnnnnd...time. Sounds like our theoretical Speed Date has been a success! Whew. So, now that you know what to expect, fellow Dukies, get out there, pay your $10 and have eight dates in one night!
Get The Chronicle straight to your inbox
Signup for our weekly newsletter. Cancel at any time.