The argument can be made that Duke dating scene-or oft-lamented lack thereof-is a contributing cause of the social isolation on this campus, one that can drive young men and women into unmeaningful and destructive relationships.
If Duke students really aren't getting the intimacy that they (secretly) are inclined to want or need, then on some level, it almost makes sense that they'd go "looking for love in all the wrong places."
But perhaps it's not that simple.
Through a frank discourse of a subject that she obviously finds so personally painful, a Duke senior put a familiar face to an unfamiliar problem-and on national television no less.
A social problem, moreover, that isn't publicly discussed with the forthrightness it deserves. Tracy Egharevba's appearance on Thursday's Oprah Winfrey Show titled "Women Who Use Sex to Find Love" was brave and illuminating, although the focus of the show was not.
Sex addiction and sexual promiscuity are such taboo subjects for women that they are rarely discussed with any seriousness-especially without turning the conversation into one of "Madonnas and Whores."
Oprah began by introducing her show topic as one that concerns women wrongly perceived as being "a bunch of hoes. Just sluts."
Later, Oprah directed disdain and disgust at her guests by again and again repeating that "strange penises would bother me"-all to the merciful laughter of her overly indulgent studio audience.
Oprah played to the audience's fascination of her guests' lascivious sex lives by focusing on the number of partners the women had been with instead of really getting to the root of the physical, emotional and psychological pains that these women are obviously suffering.
Egharevba herself told recess that if Duke students were looking for a show about "sex addicts" that we were going to be disappointed.
And although it was clear that Egharevba'smeant what she said, the Oprah show that aired really pushed the term that Egharevba had tried so hard to steer clear of in her interview.
Sexual addiction is something that is easily kept behind closed doors.
And unlike many other addictions that have outward, ostensible signs of suffering (think alcoholism, drug addiction, food addiction) "sex addiction" is something that can be more secretive and shameful.
The psychological issue of the addiction is something that can be covered up and hidden, even from the closest of family and friends.
Their "sex addictions," much like "food addictions" weren't actually about the means of satisfaction. It wasn't about the sex they were getting. It was about what they were missing. The lack of something more meaningful than sex was the underlying motive of their addictive habits.
And that's precisely why "Women Who Use Sex to Find Love" is a misnomer for the show. In no way did the stories that the women shared indicate that they were using sex to find love. They were, rather, using sex to fill some other hole in their lives. Love never was the real issue at all.
It's not about the sex.
It's about the greater motives.
And unfortunately for Oprah's guests, it was about the ratings.
Boston Cote is a Trinity senior. Her column runs every Friday.
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