R. Kelly

If you've ever wondered what exactly is wrong with the world, the answer is simple: R. Kelly. You might think I'm joking, but let me assure you, I am not. What kind of world welcomes back with open arms a man who videotaped himself having sex with a young teen? But that's just the tip of the iceberg. Just have a listen to R. Kelly's newest monstrosity, Trapped in the Closet Chapters 1-12. The album, which is nearly 40 minutes of the same song broken up into 12 different chapters, is the music that accompanies his new DVD with the same name. Both tell a story about how Mr. Kelly magically finds himself in some woman's bed the night after some hardcore clubbing. The woman's husband comes home and the story spirals into a ridiculous tale of violence, lust and stupidity. And while the idea itself is admirable, the execution is not, as the album combines juvenile lyrics and just plain embarrassing beats. And plus, everyone knows that the story is really R. Kelly's experience with a 13-year-old's dad who found him sleeping with the girl. So please, don't buy this album. Save yourself some dignity and don't contribute to America's decline.