Celine Dion

I have to admit that I was optimistic when I first listened to On Ne Change Pas, Celine Dion's new best-of compilation.

I figured since the album was a collection of her French singles, maybe the beauty of the language would cover up the blaring truth that although she has sold over 100 million albums over the years, she has absolutely no talent. In fact, her only good trait is her hair. And that she speaks French. But as I listened to all 36-yes, 36, it's a double album-of her little ditties, I felt myself falling into a deep depression. Here I was, listening to Celine Dion on a sunny Saturday afternoon. With painfully lame song titles like "Je Sais Pas" (I don't know) and "Et Je T'aime Encore" (I love you again), the only thing that I actually enjoyed was the fact that I couldn't understand a single word that was coming from her screechy voice box. And screechy it is. Also, don't make the mistake and expect 36 "My Heart Will Go On" variations. Nope, every song sounds markedly different, from heartfelt ballads to dancehall hits.

Variety might be the spice of life, but not when the variety sucks. And Celine Dion just plain sucks.