Recess top 5

5. Nefarious Arachnid Foes. The villains for the third installment of Spiderman have been revealed by the utter-sweet Mary Jane (Kirsten Dunst) herself. Thomas Hayden Church and his chin will fulfill Sandman duties, and the ultralean Topher Grace will morph into the tonguealicious, uberbuff Venom. Somehow.

4. NippleGate returns. In her deposition to this month's FHM, Tara Reid explains her latest "slip-up": "People act like it was the worst crime in the world.... You would think my boob had popped out and shot Gandhi!"

3. Sparkling Diamond. The soon-to-be reinvented Neil Diamond is currently touring the world. And despite a few gray hairs, the formerly stale soft rock staple is evolving into producer Rick Rubin's newest pet project. Rubin, responsible for such works of pop perfection as Johnny Cash's later work and Jay-Z's "99 Problems" is sure to add a new twist to this "Solitary Man."

2. The Return of the Unlikely (Cinematic) Hero. After the incredibly dubious Herbie: Fully Loaded, Lindsay Lohan's next film is acclaimed-director Robert Altman's latest opus, A Prairie Home Companion-alongside the likes of John C. Reilly and Meryl Streep. After several disastrously unfunny movies, Woody Allen is back with one of his most buzzworthy films in at least a decade: Match Point, with Scarlett Johannson and Jonathan Rhys-Meyers. And it doesn't stop there: Uma Thurman redeems herself in The Producers after the tepid Be Cool; Jude Law finally breaks out of silver-screen tripe territory in the long-awaited remake of All The King's Men and Colin Farrell in The New World might just have found a potentially Oscarworthy role where he'll do more than talk in his smoky brogue and unfurl his eyebrows.

1. Jessica Alba's Body. It's supported entire movies before. Honey, anyone? The flimsy ocean-loving drama Into The Blue with everybody and their mother's trouncing around in their bathing suit is sure to be another Albafest. That's what made Sin City such a revelation, showing her personality as well as her curves.