Summer is finally here and because the outfits in GQ and Vogue are neither practical nor affordable, recess felt it imperative to give you some advice on how to look stylish no matter where the summer takes you. recess will prepare you for almost any summer situation, using our fearless editor Jon Schnaars as our model. As always, feel free to customize with all your own personal touches.
Concert Goers
Love concerts but afraid that you won’t fit in? This look is super-easy and incredibly stylish; after a drink or two, you’ll completely forget about being self-conscious. Jon looks like a legitimate hipster in a custom-made shirt (1) from The Untidy Museum on Broad st. and a pair of black designer girl jeans (2). It’s important that you buy them a size too small so that they’re extremely tight. You might want to consider investing in a pair of boxer-briefs or tighty-whities. (It doesn’t matter if they’re clean, real rockers don’t give a f***.) Grab a pair of retro sneakers (3)—Chuck Taylors, Nike, Adidas, Puma, et. al.—but make sure they look used before you wear them in public, because white is not the new black. Smudge some eyeliner (4) on your lids and do your hair in a faux-hawk (5), which can be done using hair wax or glue (only geeks still use gel). A leather cuff (6)completes the look, but serves no practical purpose other than to reassert your masculinity after the girl jeans and eyeliner have called it into question.
Beachcombers
The debauchery known as beach week is just days away, are you ready? Here we have Jon in textbook Myrtle attire. While the beer helmet (1) isn’t a necessity, it surely makes life a lot easier by freeing up your hands to do other “things.” With the depletion of the ozone layer, sunglasses (2) and suntan lotion (3) are essential to protecting your precious facial features. To prevent beach boredom bring your favorite light reading—we recommend recess (4). Water safety should be your No. 1 priority, so if your swimming skills are lacking, make sure to pick up a pair of floaties (5) and an innertube (6). These come in an assortment of colors, which you can choose according to your personal style. Jon prefers pink. Likewise, your bathing suit (7) is a direct reflection of your vogue factor, so choose wisely. But for optimal tanning, we suggest forgoing the bathingsuit altogether. And of course because you’re a Duke student, don’t be caught without your brown leather sandals (8).
Euro Traveler
Europe continues to be a popular summer travel destination, so grab your passport and book a flight. We suggest you pack everything you need and avoid shopping altogether because you won’t be able to buy s*** with your lousy U.S. dollars. While the camera (1) and extremely useful fanny pack (2) scream “tourist,” Jon gives off an authentic air of snobbery so that he will have no trouble fitting in with the locals. Even if you don’t smoke, stick a cigarette in your mouth (3) because everyone smokes in Europe and you want to be uber-cool. The scarf (4), flannel shirt (5), tall wool socks (6) and square toed boots (très chic) (7) will keep you warm while you hike around the Alps, but you’ll be ready for the beaches of Provence in seconds by stripping down to your multipurpose cargo shorts (8). Don’t worry if the foreign language requirement didn’t prepare you for your overseas adventure; your handy-dandy flask (9) will help you make friends as well as make the native language easier to understand.
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