After four years as a sports reporter and two-and-a-half years as a columnist for The Chronicle, this will be my final sports column. Over that time span, I scoured the Internet, watched countless hours of ESPN and traveled everywhere from West Lafayette, Ind., to Albuquerque, N.M., in search of the best story possible. Based on my researching and reporting, I have compiled a list of the 12 most ridiculous moments in the sporting world over the past four years.
12) The Charlotte Bobcats. After the Hornets left for New Orleans, Charlotte named its new NBA team the Bobcats. Why? Because the owner’s name was Bob.
11) Latrell Sprewell’s contract extension. In the last year of a five-year, $62 million contract, Sprewell was offended by the Minnesota Timberwolves’ contract extension offer that would be worth between $27 and $30 million over three years. “I’ve got my family to feed,” Sprewell said in Nov. 2004.
10) Shaquille O’Neal. In the week before a highly anticipated, Lakers-Rockets game in January 2003, O’Neal quipped to a reporter about Houston’s Chinese center Yao Ming, “Tell Yao Ming, ‘ching-chong-yang-wah-ah-soh.’”
9) The Cleveland Browns’ fans and management. The Browns were driving down the field in the waning moments of the fourth quarter, trailing 15-10 to the Jacksonville Jaguars Dec. 16, 2001. Fighting for a playoff spot, Cleveland converted a fourth down and then spiked the ball on the subsequent play with 48 seconds remaining. Officials proceeded to review the fourth-down play, rule the catch incomplete and give the ball back to the Jaguars. Cleveland fans became so enraged by the call that they began throwing beer bottles, bobble-head dolls and anything else they could find in the “Dawg Pound” onto the field.
The post-game quotes made the situation even more bizarre:
“I don’t think this is an example of life and limb being at risk,” Cleveland General Manager Carmen Policy said. “I like the fact that our fans care…. The bottles are plastic. They don’t carry much of a wallop.”
“It wasn’t World War III,” Browns owner Al Lerner stated.
“I thought I was starring in Saving Private Ryan for a minute,” Jacksonville wide receiver Jimmy Smith said.
8) The Carl Franks-Robert Samuel interviews. Every one of the exchanges I had with the bumbling but affable former Duke football coach was a memorable event. The most notable of our conversations occurred in Fall 2002. After oversleeping and arriving 15 minutes late for a scheduled interview, I sprinted onto the practice field, tape recorder in hand. I noticed Franks was staring at my shirt. In my haste, I had forgotten that I was wearing a wrinkled Hooters T-shirt that was signed by Hooters girls. I thought at once the interview was over.
“You know, I know the guys who started Hooters,” Franks said instead. “Those guys are loaded now.” Franks discussed Hooters with me for five minutes.
7) Scott Reed’s unorthodox coaching techniques. In March 2005, the Oregon Teacher Standards and Practices Committee investigated Reed, a coach at Central Linn High School, for allegedly licking the wound of a female athlete. Reed had allegedly given a pep talk to his players about a coach licking and healing the wounds of his athletes. Reed then allegedly demonstrated on one of his athletes. The school district placed Reed on probation and required him to enroll in a blood-born pathogens course.
6) Bob Ryan’s comments about Joumana Kidd. During the 2003 Nets-Celtics Eastern Conference Semifinals matchup, Boston Globe columnist Ryan had the following things to say about New Jersey Nets guard Jason Kidd’s wife: “I got theories with this woman, this Joumana Kidd, who wants to be a star, wants to be a TV star. She wants face time on camera. The great way to get face time is to bring the cute, precocious kid [to Nets games]. Oh, great. I’d like to smack her.”
In 2001, Jason Kidd had been arrested on domestic abuse charges against his wife.
5) Kevin Garnett’s and Kellen Winslow Jr.’s respective war speeches. After a 10-6 loss to Tennessee Nov. 18, 2003, University of Miami tight end Winslow lashed out to the media, “It’s war. They’re out there to kill you, so I’m out there to kill them. We don’t care about anybody but this U[niversity]. They’re going after my legs. I’m going to come right back at them. I’m a f---ing soldier.”
Similarly, before game seven of the NBA’s 2004 Western Conference Finals, Garnett calmly and cryptically equated his situation with combat, “It’s for all the marbles. I’m sitting in the house loading up the pump, I’m loading up the Uzis, I’ve got a couple of M-16s, couple of nines, couple of joints with some silencers on them, couple of grenades, got a missile launcher. I’m ready for war.”
Both later apologized to U.S. soldiers fighting insurgencies in Iraq and Afghanistan.
4) Carmelo Anthony’s DVD. In December 2004, police confiscated an underground DVD entitled “Stop Snitching.” The video featured known drug dealers in Anthony’s hometown of Baltimore, Md., discussing how to deal with members of the community who talked to police. Denver Nuggets star Anthony was seen in the video standing next to one suspected dealer who said he would take care of snitches by “putting a hole in their head.” Anthony also claimed in the DVD to have thrown his Olympic bronze medal in a lake.
3) Michael Vick, a.k.a. Ron Mexico. The NFL’s highest-paid player allegedly used the alias “Ron Mexico” for purposes of herpes testing. This information became available to the public after a Georgia woman sued Vick for allegedly spreading the STD.
2) Gary Barnett’s response to rape charges against members of his team. When Katie Hnida, the only female to try out for the University of Colorado's football team, claimed Colorado players raped her, Barnett had the following comments about the situation in Feb. 2004: “It was obvious Katie was not very good. She was awful. You know what guys do? They respect your ability. You can be 90 years old, but if you can go out and play, they’ll respect you. Katie was not only a girl, she was terrible, okay? There’s no other way to say it.”
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1) The resignation of Iowa State men’s basketball coach Larry Eustachy. The more time that passes since the events leading up to this resignation, the harder it is for me to believe these actions took place. Eustachy, the highest paid state employee in Iowa, resigned in 2003 after photographs showed him at a party at the University of Missouri, following a Big 12 contest between the Cyclones and the Tigers. The coach was seen drinking alcoholic beverages with his arm around various coeds. The Des Moines Register discovered that students at Kansas State had a similar story about Eustachy.
Eustachy began his press conference about the pictures with an admission.
“I am an alcoholic,” he said. He went through counseling programs and now is the head coach at Southern Mississippi.
Perhaps the most surprising thing about the last four years is that neither Mike Tyson nor Dennis Rodman made this list. Anyway, covering sports has been fun and from the looks of this list, very absurd as well.