A Real Man's Valentine's Day

Valentine’s night has come and I am, again, without a date.  Am I sad?  Am I lonely?  Am I desperate?  Of course not.  For girl’s, Valentine’s Day without a date or a quasi-date or a friend-date or a group of girls to go to the Washington Duke Inn for dinner is a fate worse than death.  

For real men, a Valentine’s night without a date looks the same as any other Monday night, complete with a six-pack of Natty Ice and a Tilt-SportsCenter double header.  

In fact, most single guys silently pity those of our breed who are stuck making elaborate Valentine’s Day plans.

We, proud and few, single men have the strength to challenge the societal norms, stand up and say, “Hell, maybe I’ll play eight hours of Madden tonight.” I’ll fire up the old Playstation and work my pass routes and blitz schemes. I mean, it’s Valentine’s Day, we should spoil ourselves some.

Maybe I’ll add some relish to my tuna sandwich tonight to celebrate. What good is some fancy dinner if I’ve got two slabs of bread, a can of tuna and some mayo? Real men don’t need warm napkins and clean silverware to make them feel special on Valentine’s Day.

So what if I heard my ex was living it up with some frat guy and my mom hasn’t sent her usual card?

For real men, Valentine’s is a meaningless expression of love just like any other day. Maybe I haven’t gotten any love this year, but, hey, for real men there’s always next year.