A couple of years ago, Jessica Simpson was a somewhat statuesque chanteuse with jaw-dropping pipes who seemed cut from the pre-nutjob Whitney Houston mold. At best, she’d churn out some adult contemporary hits for a few years; at worst, she’d disappear into B-movie obscurity or the $2.99 bin at Wal-Mart.
With declining sales and little interest, her career seemed headed down the latter track. Then, almost by accident, she struck gold in creating the “dumb blonde housewife” persona that has defined her on the hit MTV show Newlyweds. Her antics have catapulted her, Nick Lachey and little sis Ashlee into greater fame than any of them had in their prior music careers.
That’s not genius, and it’s not idiocy—it’s business. Jessica is in the business of self-promotion, and she has found a previously underexplored niche to exploit. As far as I’m concerned, that deserves a “bravo” and nothing more.
It’s lunacy to say that Jessica is going to single-handedly corrupt the young women of America. And besides, if she had continued churning out ‘80s covers instead of capitalizing on this corner of the market, someone else would have stepped up and filled the “dumb blonde housewife” role anyway.
Jessica got there first, and Jessica does it well. For the next 15 minutes of her fame, let’s let her enjoy it.
They say she’s harmless. They say she’s beautiful. They say she’s stupid.But according to her mom in a recentVanity Fair article, Jessica Simpson has “this, like, 160 IQ.”So why does America’s favorite housewife act so dumb? “I have this persona,” she says, “I love being labeled the ditz…. That was how I got the guys. That’s how I charmed people.”All of a sudden, I don’t find the Barbie of showbiz so harmless.Jessica might look innocent, but in this writer’s opinion she’s the worst thing to happen to women since bikini waxing. Jessica is smart. She is amazing. But, sadly, that’s not the image she’s selling to the pre-teens of the world. Rather, she promotes a shameless ideal of gaining success by being what others want her to be.Besides just dumbing herself down, in interview after interview Jessica has revealed her straight-from-the-’50s tactics to keep her man happy, such as withholding sex so he’ll “want you more the next night.”Honestly, I prefer the empowered flaunting of Britney and Christina to the chaste fantasy of simplicity that the Jessica Simpson package serves up. I worry that my children might one day believe that being a virgin bride ready to fulfill her husband’s every need so long as he forgives the occasional shopping transgression really is the pinnacle of success.Welcome to a world where, in order to be popular, a woman should be all things but remarkable.
Get The Chronicle straight to your inbox
Signup for our weekly newsletter. Cancel at any time.