Commentary: Dear Rock You:

To the readers of Rock You, Duke's only hard-hitting, bi-weekly column to truly take the pulse of undergrad life here at Duke and smack it around a little: thanks. Everywhere I go I am greeted with support for the kind of raw, wild and crazy journalistic revolt that Rock You attempts to stir. Rock You lives and breathes controversy and thrives on confrontation. Controversy, controversy, controversy. Go controversy.

 However, following the publication of a très controversial column having to do with gay marriage, I was confronted at Bully's one night by a reader who was somewhat disenchanted. "You write for the Chronicle, don't you?" he asked me. I braced myself for the glowing commendation that was sure to follow. "Yeh, I read your columns. The last one sucked." Alas, fame is fleeting.

 You may or may not have seen a letter to the editor some weeks ago from someone who clearly had issues to raise with Rock You. I don't remember exactly what the letter said, but all the reader needs to know is, it was brutal and cruel and it made fun of my momma. That letter is one of dozens coming in every week, demanding to know what the hell I mean, exactly, by 'Naked Dance Party' and whether or not that is an anti-gay/women/environment comment. In fact, most of these letters aren't even going to the editor, they're going straight to my mailbox. So, Rock You has decided to print some here, along with a response, in an effort to defend myself against some of the very malicious things people are saying about the column. Granted, this is only a teeny-tiny minority of students. To this minority--those too ignorant to see that Rock You is merely a force for social healing in the crazy mixed-up world of Duke University: you guys suck. Lighten up a little.

 The following is a sampling of the letters, unedited, as many as the space of this humble column will allow.

 To Crazy Activist Girl: I'm from the hard-core, thug life streets of Long Island, bi-otch. And I volunteered at a nursing home. Once. You don't know me. Son.

 Dear Rock You: Can't you find anything more meaningful to write about? Duke is wrought with eating disorders, racism and elitism. The surrounding community of Durham desperately needs our help and is met with apathy by Duke students. The campus is devoid of political activism or even interest, the administration is undergoing serious changes, and crime is taking place on school grounds with alarming frequency. We are steps away from catastrophe, and you write articles about riding the bus. Get serious and use this space for some good.        

 From, Have You No Soul?

 Dear Have You No Soul: My soul could take your soul any day of the week. This column does plenty of good. Hey everyone: feed homeless people! Walk in groups at night! Don't do drugs! Tada!

 Dear Rock You: You should write a column about me. I am a very interesting person. I am a sophomore. My favorite movie is 'Lost Boys'. I only brush my teeth once a week. Thanks a lot!

 From, Andrew

 Dear Andrew: No. As anyone can see I have plenty of things to write about already.

 Dear Rock You: Why do you write for the Chronicle? It's a lot of work with no pay that risks making you the laughingstock of the school if you say something stupid. I bet you do it for the ego boost you get every time you see your picture in the paper. All of you columnists just write whatever you want--little inside jokes, shameless references to sex and drinking so we all know how cool you are, etc. You don't fool me.

 From, Get Over Yourself

 Dear Get Over Yourself: Yeah, you're right. See you at Bully's.

 Denise Napoli is a Trinity sophomore. Her column appears every other Friday.