They're baaa-ack. After falling off the face of the campus ("the world") for a semester, the juniors have returned. And just in time. They are here to save us from another night in the same place with the same people ("Groundhog's Day II" shot on location in Parizode's) and infuse us with hope that we have not in fact exhausted every possible option.
For freshman who have never seen them, the juniors seem like gifts sent down from the heavens. And for the sophomores and seniors, they seem like not the sophomores or seniors. Very exciting.
But before you start comparing these third-years with the Christ child (here to save us all), realize they not only brought back "Louis"s from a sidewalk in Milan, but also their own psychological abroad baggage. And it's specific to each group. Let's look at the map. Duke in Australia. These were the most fun kids in the first place and probably the most noted in their absence. And then they have the audacity to come back tan. While some of us still resemble Durham snow, they look like they have spent everyday of the last six months on the beach surfing, which, of course, is because they have. Unfair on so many levels.
So where do you find these refugees from the Down Under? Most likely not in class--or anywhere else that requires motivation (motivation here defined as leaving their apartment). You will have to take it upon yourself to search them out, because they are likely in pow-wows with their Australian cohorts smoking something that is not Marlborough Lights.
And like Lili's Aussie Zach, they likely also brought back souvenirs around the waistline, which is a real shame if they are about to go through recruitment, because then they clearly have to lose even more than the normally mandatory 10 pounds. Right. This, of course, is the result of post-"Marlborough Lights" smoking munchies. But it doesn't even matter because they are so damn tan (very thinning).
The catch with these mates is getting them to care about anything. Dating seems even more absurd than it did before, and hooking up is viewed as a waist of sleeping/smoking time. If you are interested in a Dundee, you will probably have to take your own initiative--consider it the next Campaign for Duke (said here with a hot Australian accent).
Duke in Europe. Call 'em split personalities. They walk around being "so glad to see their friends again," but every other line out of their mouths is "I miss [insert amazing European city here]." They have been on a semester-long tour of Paris, Rome, Madrid, London, and naturally Amsterdam, and now they are back. In Durham. It is hard not to feel sorry for them.
The moanings--most concentrated in the first few weeks back when they are slapped in the face with the reality that Bully's is not La Capital and the Great Hall serves wraps, not spanicopita--can be a lot to handle when you yourself have been in Durham all year and seeing them back is more excitement than you've seen since Ludacris (which was really only exciting because of the girl who wore the "Luda, make me a woman shirt").
If you are patient, you can wait out the depressing period and find out exactly what kind of French lessons these kids got. They tend to return more mature and worldly and less locked into the Duke/college mindset, which is good for their commitment potential. Just be prepared to look through the scrapbooks. A lot.
Duke in New York/L.A. People who go on these programs tend to be either really artsy or really sick of Charlie's. Although both of these cities certainly seem foreign to Durham, calling them "abroad" offends many a sensibility. But we'll go with it.
They can return one of two ways. The first and preferable scenario for all involved parties is coming back with a newfound appreciation for Duke. Sure, the scene had gotten old, but how they had missed the people (which clearly they were used to seeing a lot of before they burned out on them). They are happy to be back and realize how great the pseudo-world of college can be. The less desirable scenario is that after tasting real clubs and culture (more than the Durham Bulls stadium), the realize that Duke is even more dull than when they left it. Then they become brooding artist types, which is about as much fun as it sounds.
The key to these quasi-travelers is capitalizing on their longing for good drinks and good food. Suggest hitting the Martini Bar in Chapel Hill on a Monday night, or doing brunch at Vin Rouge. It will remind them of what they are missing out on. That, or make you look slightly crazy, so proceed with caution.
Duke in Durham. They've been here and are old hat by now. Except now they are happy because their friends are back and sharing in their misery (no it's not really that bad, unless you are doing the Duke in 301 Flowers program, which really is). They are walking with a new bounce in their step and maybe even a new body in their bed.
Although Daisy had thoroughly enjoyed an amazing fall semester sans globe trotting, she had been counting down the return of her friends and prospective new "friends" all semester. In fact, she already had a "To Do" list of returning juniors. This select group of juniors (not those on the list, but rather the ones who stayed in Durham) can be picked out of a crowd because of the pure joy seeping out of them.
The big message: Welcome back juniors.
Whitney Beckett is a Trinity senior. Her column appears every other Friday.
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